Archive for August, 2024


A strange thing happened the other day.

I was leaving a restroom at the end of a long isolated hallway in a shopping mall when I had an unusual encounter.

A quick aside: I’m tall, broad-shouldered (despite being skinny), usually have some stubble, wear a chain around my neck, a few steel rings, and dress in all black most days. I also like to walk fast. I’m no Amos Burton, but I can see how I might seem a little intimidating, which is why I generally try to paste a small smile on my face. (Which, come to think of it, is something Amos does as well. Damn.)

When I think I’m alone (for example, when I leave a restroom at the end of a long isolated hallway in a shopping mall), I have my resting Russian face on: neutral, serious, emotionless.

Now that I’ve painted you that quick mental picture… There I was, speed-walking through the long and dimly lit hallway, when someone stepped toward me from around the corner. The stranger was a short guy with a big belly, about 45. He glanced at me, and his instantaneous reaction was to flatten himself against the hallway wall – face to the wall, butt out. There was plenty of room for the both of us to pass each other without so much as a stray touch, but nope. Straight-up fear and panic.

I speed-walked past him without acknowledging him or making the already weird situation even weirder. Still, I’m curious what precisely he’d thought in that split-second before he decided to (unsuccessfully) merge with the wall, and what he thought afterwards. Did he regale his friends with tales of that terrifying encounter? Or perhaps that’s just a quirk of his, and that was an everyday experience? So many questions.

Unbiased and objective self-perception can be difficult. Objectively, I know I’m taller and hairier than most people – yet it always surprises me to realize I’m almost as tall as most doorways. I try to keep a peaceful half-smile on my face, and cross the street rather than walk behind women after dark, and generally try to be as non-threatening as possible. And then, of course, there are random encounters when I don’t have my mask on, and folks freak out. Not often, but often enough to make me wonder: what on earth do I look like to others when I’m just being myself?

I guess I’ll never really know.

Two new firsts

This is probably the inevitable side effect of having played way too many video games, but I tend to view life in terms of levels, scores, and achievements. Some achievements are quite common: you’ve devoured a dragon fruit, huzzah! But so have billions of other people. Other achievements, however…

This week, I have two rare first-time achievements, and they’re mighty fun.

First, I’ve officially become a published author! Not self-published, mind you: I’ve been selling my e-books on Kindle since 2011 or so. No, something I wrote appeared in an actual book, and I got paid for it, contract and all. This also happens to be my first short story sale! My story, “How to Prepare for Time Travelers in the Workplace,” has been published in a brand new time travel anthology, “Ruth and Ann’s Guide to Time Travel.” (Available wherever you buy your books online.)

This is… Somewhat unreal, eh. I’ve been low-key writing and trying, and finally I got it done. These days, there are more short story writers competing for fewer slots than, say, 70 years ago, during the pulp era. In terms of sheer competitiveness, this is a bit like Olympic gymnastics: if you watch videos of gold medalists from 80 or so years ago, today’s gymnasts (especially Simone Biles!) are basically superheroes compared to them. It’s fun to live in a world that’s advanced so much in just about every competitive field, but that also means we’re playing at a much higher difficulty level than the earlier generations.

In any case, huzzah – and here’s hoping I’ll manage to get more publication credits. Also, that short story takes place in the same universe as my thus-far-unagented sci-fi novel “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide.” With any luck, this will give me that extra bit of visibility that would attract an awesome literary agent. I’m trying multiple things at once, and I’m positive at least one of them will work.

The second fun new achievement is my interview on CBC radio! There’s a weekly meetup group for expats here in Quebec City, and it’s called Bla Bla Language Exchange. Not long ago, we got a visit from a radio journalist who conducted short interviews with some of us. Part of my interview made it into the final broadcast. I’ll never get used to the way my voice sounds on tape, but I suppose that’s a universal human experience, eh? Anyway, head over yonder to listen to the segment (it’s quite fun!) – my part starts at 9:45.

This year doesn’t have a grand hiking adventure (that’ll be in 2025!), but it does have a lot of mini-adventures, each of which is just as fascinating in its own little way. Here is to many, many more.

Sometimes, you get a lovely combination of nice weather, terrible boredom, and zero plans whatsoever… The obvious solution is to dress up and go to my favourite restaurant in the tourist district for an amazing meal. (Because life is too short to require special occasions.) My fellow bus passengers were a bit confused, which is always a fun bonus.

Incidentally, if you’re ever in Quebec City, and wandering through the tourist district, and want to have a great meal without paying a fortune, I highly recommend checking out Au Petit Coin Breton. Their mimosa salad is gigantic, delicious, and a great deal – and the bottomless coffee is surprisingly good!

Life can be beautiful, if you will only let it.