Archive for February, 2013


Dear Men in Black

I realize that my Google search history has been even stranger than usual lately. In case it triggered some red flags in your byzantine surveillance system, I’d like to assure you that I’m merely doing research for an e-book on serial killers and do not intend to cause any harm to my fellow human beings. (Well, not counting the girl at the local Subway who took 20 minutes to prepare my sandwich the other day and should probably get fired.)

Please don’t send a flying killer robot (or “drone,” as you like to call them) after me.

Best regards,
GL

Google, interrupted

“girl, interrupted” – 2,180,000 search results on Google
“boy, interrupted” – 133,000 results
“Google, interrupted” – 1,290 results
“Borg, interrupted” – 77 results
“platypus, interrupted” – 62 results
“Chuck Norris, interrupted” – 58 results
“Cthulhu, interrupted” – 8 results
“hermaphrodite, interrupted” – 3 results
“chupacabra, interrupted” – 1 result
“procrastinator, interrupted” – 0 results

‎”the army of one” – 2,020,000 results on Google
“the army of two” – 31,100,000 results
“the army of three” – 460,000 results
“the army of four” – 286,000 results
“the army of five” – 626,000 results
“the army of six” – 73 results
“the army of seven” – 62 results
“the army of eight” – 78 results
“the army of nine” – 33 results
“the army of 10” – 100 results
“the army of 11” – 21 results
“the army of 12” – 50,000 results
“the army of 13” – 32 results
“the army of 14” – 26 results
“the army of 15” – 54 results
“the army of 16” – 26 results
“the army of 17” – 12 results
“the army of 18” – 40 results
“the army of 19” – 36 results
“the army of 20” – 88 results
“the army of 21” – 20 results
“the army of 22” – 21 results
“the army of 23” – 10 results
“the army of 24” – 30 results
“the army of 25” – 23 results
“the army of 26” – 18 results
“the army of 27” – 8 results
“the army of 28” – 13 results
“the army of 29” – 8 results
“the army of 30” – 48 results
“the army of 31” – 12 results
“the army of 32” – 14 results
“the army of 33” – 27 results
“the army of 34” – 10 results
“the army of 35” – 26 results
“the army of 36” – 5 results
“the army of 37” – 8 results
“the army of 38” – 13 results
“the army of 39” – 25 results
“the army of 40” – 41 results
“the army of 41” – 11 results
“the army of 42” – 13 results
“the army of 43” – 50 results
“the army of 44” – 6 results
“the army of 45” – 14 results
“the army of 46” – 14 results
“the army of 47” – 11 results
“the army of 48” – 20 results
“the army of 49” – 9 results
“the army of 50” – 41 results
“the army of 51” – 13 results
“the army of 52” – 18,400 results
“the army of 53” – 5 results
“the army of 54” – 5 results
“the army of 55” – 3 results
“the army of 56” – 9 results
“the army of 57” – 13 results
“the army of 58” – 18 results
“the army of 59” – 6 results
“the army of 60” – 20 results
“the army of 61” – 78 results
“the army of 62” – 13 results
“the army of 63” – 7 results
“the army of 64” – 6 results
“the army of 65” – 11 results
“the army of 66” – 6 results
“the army of 67” – 14 results
“the army of 68” – 16 results
“the army of 69” – 20 results
“the army of 70” – 40 results
“the army of 71” – 10 results
“the army of 72” – 10 results
“the army of 73” – 7 results
“the army of 74” – 7 results
“the army of 75” – 15 results
“the army of 76” – 21 results
“the army of 77” – 14 results
“the army of 78” – 11 results
“the army of 79” – 5 results
“the army of 80” – 10 results
“the army of 81” – 5 results
“the army of 82” – 7 results
“the army of 83” – 5 results
“the army of 84” – 11 results
“the army of 85” – 15 results
“the army of 86” – 11 results
“the army of 87” – 5 results
“the army of 88” – 10 results
“the army of 89” – 11 results
“the army of 90” – 34 results
“the army of 91” – 11 results
“the army of 92” – 8 results
“the army of 93” – 4 results
“the army of 94” – 9 results
“the army of 95” – 14 results
“the army of 96” – 1 result
“the army of 97” – 6 results
“the army of 98” – 23 results
“the army of 99” – 13 results
“the army of 100” – results
“the army of 101” – 18 results
“the army of 102” – 11 results
“the army of 103” – 20 results
“the army of 104” – 1 result
“the army of 105” – 13 results
“the army of 106” – 18 results
“the army of 107” – 4 results
“the army of 108” – 5 results
“the army of 109” – 6 results
“the army of 110” – 8 results
“the army of 111” – 14 results
“the army of 112” – 6 results
“the army of 113” – 2 results
“the army of 114” – 4 results
“the army of 115” – 7 results
“the army of 116” – 6 results
“the army of 117” – 2 results
“the army of 118” – 6 results
“the army of 119” – 1 result
“the army of 120” – 25 results
“the army of 121” – 5 results
“the army of 122” – 9 results
“the army of 123” – 8 results
“the army of 124” – 7 results
“the army of 125” – 21 results
“the army of 126” – 4 results
“the army of 127” – 4 results
“the army of 128” – 9 results
“the army of 129” – 4 results
“the army of 130” – 11 results
“the army of 131” – 4 results
“the army of 132” – 4 results
“the army of 133” – 8 results
“the army of 134” – 3 results
“the army of 135” – 9 results
“the army of 136” – 6 results
“the army of 137” – 2 results
“the army of 138” – 3 results
“the army of 139” – 0 results

Lessons learned:
1. I may have too much time on my hands.
2. I didn’t think it would take me that long to reach zero… But as a famous philosopher once said, “When you mess with Google long enough, Google also messes with you.” Or something like that.