Category: writing


In which the author gets agented!

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April 11, 2025

I spent a very long time anticipating the day when I’d be able to use this header. And, of course, then I wrote it three days too late. But hey, time is a flat circle, right? (In my defense, I’ve been doing a lot of celebrating, and even more editing and rewriting.)

My awesome new agent is Brandy Vallance of Barbara Bova Literary Agency. (The same agency that brought us “Ender’s Game” – wooo!) Brandy is an author-turned-agent, an expert in the craft of writing, and the best advocate and supporter an author could ever ask for. Together, we shall find the perfect home for “The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes.” (And then, afterwards, for “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide” – and many more to come!)

Brandy was one of the very first agents I queried when I started agent-hunting over a year ago. The query odyssey was long and convoluted, and this post is not about that. Some other day, perhaps. Suffice to say, I’m not merely happy that I’ve leveled up as a writer – I’m ecstatic that I won’t have to deal with query trenches ever again!

Being agented is… wild. It’s a wild feeling, eh. I don’t have the numbers (and I don’t think anyone does), but I guesstimate that only 1% (if not less) of the folks who finish their novel ever end up agented. From what I’ve heard, it’s gotten even more difficult after covid. Some think that’s because millions of people had a chance to finally write their novel during the lockdown. Others blame ChatGPT: when anyone can generate a bunch of slop in a single afternoon, the number of queried novels goes way up, resulting in severe bottlenecks.

Whatever the case, it feels so strange – though in a good way – to be an actual agented writer. That’s not something you can buy, not something that’s awarded based on your looks or height – that’s based on merit. I’d started tinkering with my first novel way back in 2015, and didn’t finalize it till 2024. The novel Brandy and I will focus on had taken me just eight months to brainstorm, write, and edit. (Yes, that timeline is pretty symbolic, I know.) Between 2015 and now, I tried my hand at quite a few short stories, some of which actually got sold. I’ve been writing non-fiction Kindle e-books since 2011, and while they are, well, not fiction, that also gave me a fair bit of practice.

I’ve never taken a writing course, though I do have a growing collection of books on the craft of writing. (My top two recommendations are Chuck Palahniuk’s “Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different” and Damon Knight’s “Creating Short Fiction.”) I don’t know a single person even remotely close to the publishing industry. I’ve never been to writing workshops or retreats, and I can’t even imagine what goes on in MFAs. I’ve never been to a writing conference, and the only real-life pitch I’ve ever done was during a small panel at last year’s New York Comic Con – something I’d found completely by accident. (The feedback I got after my 60-second speech? “…I like the title.” Oof.)

I’ve been a lifelong reader, though, and a careful learner, with lots of time to think and brainstorm.

My method was simple: I just sat down and forced myself to overcome my hesitation and my self-doubts, and then I started writing. Perhaps not every day (though I tried to), and with a lot of outlines, powered by stubbornness and perseverance – because waiting for a muse didn’t prove to be a reliable strategy. And then… I developed a very thick skin: some of the rejections were hurtful; many queries just got ghosted, without even a token reply. I spent a lot of time spent querying, and revising my novels, and keeping the wordcount below 100,000. And I was patient. Very, very patient.

And even then success is never guaranteed. The nudge for my new novel (think “Ender’s Game” x “Chernobyl” x “The Umbrella Academy”) came from the most unexpected and unlikely source, though that’s a whole different story. If not for that, “The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes” might never have been written.

So if you’re currently in the query trenches, and you’re reading this… I don’t have the secret recipe, or the secret sauce, or a $9.99 book of advice that would boost your chances. You almost certainly already know all the advice I’ve mentioned. There’s nothing I can do to actually help you with your query, but I hope you will find some solace and encouragement in my words. I was just a guy, and then I started writing, and it took me a very long time, but I got signed. I’m not so insensitive as to say, “If I could do it, then anyone can do it” – but I hope my example will give comfort to other outsiders, to other folks who have no credentials beyond their love of fiction and their penchant for writing.

Onward, eh.

Ever onward.

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In which the author’s stratagems bear fruit

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April 5, 2025

There’s a fairly old video game, Red Dead Redemption, and it has a beautiful theme song… The lyrics are beautiful, but this bit in particular always resonated with me:

“And all the storms you’ve been chasin’
About to rain down tonight.”

The sum total of long-term plans, all coming to fruition at the same time. This week has been like that for my writing endeavours.

First, the Pulp Asylum magazine bought my short story “Murder of the Orient Express” (of, not on). After that, Story Unlikely bought the reprint rights to my very first sold story, “How to Prepare for Time Travelers in the Workplace.” And last but not least, I’ve sold my first-ever non-fiction work! My essay “The Hierarchy of Apocalypses” will appear in an upcoming issue of Phano. It’s about my video game escapism during the pandemic, and the many, many ways we as a society have chosen to outsource our humanity to machines. I’ve written quite a few non-fiction Kindle books before, but this is the first actual non-fiction essay sale. Hopefully, the first of many!

Also, I’ve finished yet another short film! That particular project is still top-secret, but it is – for once – not sci-fi, and it deals with a quixotic astronaut. Gonna add a few finishing touches and then try my luck submitting it to some A-list festivals. (The odds may be against me, but I have infinite time and optimism.)

Needless to say, this week has been one long series of celebrations. It’s a good thing I’m trying to gain as much weight as possible for my upcoming Continental Divide Trail adventure. (I fly out in just 17 days, wooo!) And on top of that, I have a very very enthusiastic agent reading my new novel (“The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes”), and a few more stories submitted to anthologies – which have not yet been rejected on sight. (That’s always a good sign!)

I can’t quite describe how great this feels: after months of rejections, receiving three acceptance emails (and on the same week!) is an unbelievable dopamine boost.

I track all my story submissions (and rejections) in a plain old text file – that’s fast and easy. At this point, I’m starting to run low on the unsold stories, which is an excellent problem to have! I’m currently reading the wonderful “Creating Short Fiction” by Damon Knight – reading it slowly, because (unlike so many writing guides…), it’s choke-full of advice and food for thought. The goal is to read it and internalize its lessons (or most of them, anyway) before my big CDT hike. I won’t have a lot of free time on my adventure, but I’ll have some – and I’ll have many many hours of nothing but hiking, and thinking, and brainstorming. This isn’t one of my primary goals for the hike (and not even in the top-5), but I suspect I’ll finish it with quite a few new short stories and poems. We’ll see, eh.

Here is to more acceptance letters from editors!

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Short story level-up!

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March 25, 2025

This has been quite an eventful week for my writing career. I’ve just made my second short story sale of the year! (The first sale is currently in limbo: I’ll post about it once it finalizes.)

My short story “Murder of the Orient Express” (of, not on) will appear in the June issue of Pulp Asylum. Also, that officially makes me a pulp fiction writer. Heh.

There’s a funny story behind the title… “Murder of the Orient Express” was a blooper on the great “Ex Urbe Ad Astra” podcast hosted by Malka Older & Jo Walton. They misspoke, then laughed it off and moved on, but it got me thinking… How do you kill an actual train? And why? What kind of person would even do such a thing? You’ll have to wait till June to find out!

I’m very very glad to get my third paid publishing credit (2025 has been quite kind to me so far), and I hope this will inspire all y’all to do what I did: seek inspiration in the weirdest places. You can find a kernel for a fun story just about anywhere – as long as your eyes are open and your mind is imaginative.

Good luck, eh.

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In which the author finishes his second novel

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March 24, 2025

Short version: HUZZAH!!!

Longer version: I stayed up all night, adding last touches to my final edit of “The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes,” a dark-academia Young Adult sci-fi novel. It’s quite different from my first novel, “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide” (which is still in the query trenches) in that it actually follows the three-act arch, and has recurring characters and the big showdown and all. Heh.

Stylistically, it’s Chernobyl + Ender’s Game + X-Men. It explores a very simple process: if the environmental pollution in the 1990s Russia reached the point where children started getting either cancer or superpowers, how would the government react?

It was partly based on a true story… I was born and raised right next to Seversk, aka Tomsk-7, aka one of the worst nuclear disasters in history. It wasn’t as bad as Chernobyl, but it was bad… Widespread birth defects. High rates of cancer. A lot of weird stuff happening… When I try to tell my childhood stories to my friends, whether in the US or Canada, they usually think I’m making them up, or at the very least embellishing them. So, I figured, why not go all the way? Why not actually embellish them and turn them into a very strange, very dark sci-fi novel?

Throughout the novel, there are short interludes: real-life news reports, excerpts from military dispatches, think-tank analyses on Russia’s plunging health rates, etc. I like to think it’ll give the readers something to chew on: educational as well as entertaining.

I set the action in the 1990s because that was the last decade without advanced technology: cellphones already existed (there’s a Nokia phone that features prominently), but they were very very rare. And that’s also the decade I know best. My family left Russia in 2003. I never went back. Probably never will. Whatever the hell it’s become now, I’m not familiar with it – so I wrote about what I knew. About corruption. About ineptitude. About horrifying accidents. About cruel teachers who would watch you get pummeled right outside the school and then do nothing.

There’s some levity and romance there, as well, but… Let’s just say Disney won’t base a children’s movie based on my novel. And that’s all I’ll say. Spoilers, eh.

The last thing I did before passing out at 7am was put together a nice-looking query and a synopsis (it took some work to condense it from 2,500 words to 850!), after which I sent the whole thing to one very special agent, who will have the first dibs on the manuscript. Toes and fingers crossed!

But perhaps most importantly, this giant psychic weight is off my shoulders now. I’ll fly off to New Mexico less than a month from now, and I’ll be able to start my big Continental Divide Trail thru-hike with a clear conscience. If I hadn’t finished this novel, it’d always be on my mind, if only a little. (And before you ask, writing and editing on your phone is possible, but it’s the least convenient of all possible options.)

And so… Done. Done at last. Might goof around and write a short story or two, but I’m definitely not starting the third novel’s draft in the coming weeks. Time to have some well-earned rest, eh.

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New e-book! “Delays, Denials, Deposals: the Devolution of America’s Healthcare”

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February 5, 2025

Great news! My new e-book is out – and it’s free for the next few days. “Delays, Denials, Deposals: the Devolution of America’s Healthcare” was inspired by Luigi: the more I kept digging into the history of America’s healthcare, the more disturbing facts I found… This book collects 13 historical documents, starting with 1912, that detail what kind of compromises, bad choices, or outright capitulations happened along the way, to bring us to the here and now. This book isn’t about Luigi or Brian Thompson: it’s about the origins of this twisted situation. It’s about the choices not taken. It’s about us.

The e-book will be free to download until the end of Sunday, February 9th: click “Buy now with 1-Click” right underneath $0.00.

If you like it, please leave a quick review or even just a rating. If you hate it, then hey, it was free. All feedback is always welcome. Happy reading!

…as a side note, Amazon’s algorithm is getting stranger as well as stupider every single year. The initial version of this e-book had “Delay, Deny, Depose” in the title. That met with the harshest possible opposition as they refused to publish it, refused to give a reason, and kept ignoring my escalations for weeks without ever specifying why exactly my e-book broke their rules. But lo and behold, if you just change those first three words and remove Luigi’s and Thompson’s names from the introduction, you get a near-instant approval. And that, friends, is how we’re gonna have to fight the artificial intelligence in the future: the gatekeepers may be tireless machines, but they’re also mindless idiots.

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Dear alphabet agencies…

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January 4, 2025

Dear CSIS, FBI, CIA, NSA, and other shadowy government agencies,

I’m about to watch a bunch of videos on assembling and disassembling an AK-47. Please rest assured that this is harmless research for my dystopian YA novel, and not in any way an indicator of any sinister intent on my part.

We cool? We cool.

Later, gators.

(…yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s gonna land on me on at least two new watch-lists. I need to have authentic details for that chapter, though, so YOLOLOLOL!)

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An update from the querying trenches

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December 18, 2024

My big adventure this year was to find a literary agent for my debut time-travel novel. That quest led me down some mighty weird rabbit holes…

After polishing, re-polishing, and starting all over again with my query letter, I got the attention of seven literary agents. One requested a partial (the first 100 pages) but then politely declined. One agent requested the full manuscript (full MS) sort of declined, but said she’d be quite interested in reading a dystopian YA novel based on something I mentioned in my query. Four more requested the full MS during the summer/fall (it’s considered impolite to nudge until at least six months have passed), and earlier this week I received a very enthusiastic reply from a literary agent I’d queried in October. He too asked for the full MS.

Normally, there are two outcomes to a full MS request: either a “thanks but not thanks” or an offer of representation. That’s the holy grail for writers, and it sets off a whole new domino chain… (Still, it typically takes a couple of years for the actual book to get published.) This was my fifth pending full MS request, and – thus far – the most enthusiastic one. I expect to hear back from him within a month…

I had some time away from technology two days ago (horrible, I know!), so I sat down and outlined the final 40% of my dystopian Russian YA novel, and split that outline into 22 small-ish chapters. Knowing that the end is in sight makes the whole thing a lot less scary, and far more manageable. If I go ahead and at least try to write up one chapter per day (no matter how poorly), then huzzah – my first draft will be finished in just 3 weeks. I’ve been knocking out a chapter per day for the past two days (today’s total: 2,667 words!), and I rather like this sort of architect-style self-imposed framework. It doesn’t matter how clunky the outcome is, because the first draft’s job is not to be pretty – it’s merely to exist. To serve as the foundation. And after that, you just keep piling more stuff on top of it, and improving, and brainstorming…

And last but not least, during all my research on the publishing industry, I’ve learned something very peculiar. Turns out, you need the full MS when you’re shopping around your fiction novel, but you do not need that when you have a non-fiction book – such as, say, a memoir/exposé about my 11.5 years at Amazon. (If any agents are reading this, drop me a line!) I honestly had no idea this was how things were done in the non-fiction circles. This entire time, I thought you had to sit down, produce a full-length book, much like with fiction, and then go agent-hunting. I really wish I’d learned this sooner… But oh well. What matters is that, after a great deal of research, I’ve assembled a professional-looking book proposal for my Amazon book. It includes the introduction, the first chapter, my self-promotion plan (podcasts and newspapers and all), the outline, and a whole lot more.

Querying a whole new project while the previous project is still in the querying trenches almost feels like cheating, like taking a brand new sports car out for a test drive. (Vroom vroom!) A whole new slate of agents to email… So far, I’ve identified and contacted the eight agents who have the best sales record in the memoir category and the fastest turnaround time when replying to queries. If my non-fiction query letter sucks, at least I’ll find out right away, eh.

…this is all so wild. I finished writing my sci-fi novel less than a year ago, at the very end of December, and I never would’ve imagined that a) a bunch of actual agents would show interest, and b) one of them would request a spec novel based on my dystopian Russian childhood, and c) I’d start querying an Amazon memoir. Oh, and, of course, that I would become a festival-going filmmaker. (More on that soon.) Huh. All that, in less than a year. Life is so random and beautiful…

And now we wait… And write. And write some more.

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A poem inspired by a meme

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December 3, 2024

The moose was loose,
A daring ruse,
A prank that went too far.
“Man up and choose,
Me or the moose!”
She’d shouted from the car.
And look, perhaps it was the booze,
Or the December blues,
But I knew I had naught to lose
By letting the moose loose.

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The most productive Comic Con day ever!

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October 19, 2024

This is just a short note before I completely pass out after such a long and eventful day… My first-ever day at the New York Comic Con (NYCC).

I’m spending this whole week in New York, crashing on a good friend’s couch over in the Jamaica neighbourhood. The occasion is the annual Brooklyn SciFi Film Festival, but I will write more on that in a few days.

Today (Friday) was the only festival day without any live screenings (only a virtual one), so I went to NYCC, having bought the rare Friday pass much earlier in the week. (My overnight bus from Montreal had arrived much earlier than expected, so I spent an hour or so at an all-night diner, buying event tickets and planning my week, eh.)

I have neither the time nor the space to describe my NYCC experience in full detail. Suffice to say, it was quite amazing. There were some logistical issues that were a clear oversight on the organizers’ part, but pobody is nerfect.

My biggest event was the Pitchapalooza: 20 authors get picked to give a 1-minute pitch, followed by gentle critique. At the end, one author gets picked, and wins an introduction to an agent in their genre. I was surprised to see that pavilion was almost empty: in my imagination, hundreds of writers would have lined up for this opportunity – but nope, there were only about 20 of us altogether. Remarkable.

I delivered my best pitch and didn’t win, but I got some great feedback – and learned that I’m capable of delivering rapid-fire pitches in front of VIPs, with a microphone and a small crowd. (There were quite a few observers.) That was good to learn about myself.

Afterwards, much roaming, and admiring people’s beautiful and creative cosplay. As an introvert, I was hesitant about attending the NYCC networking event, but I’m glad I went. I had a chat with someone from a talent agency, and got his card, and will message him soon… He was in the market for voiceover talent (not my forte), but he did say his agency represents authors, too. This should be interesting.

Speaking of voiceovers: Jeff Hays, the most talented voiceover artist in the United States, said he’s okay with doing a small commission for one of my short films! This is so mindblowing that I still can’t quite process it. I need someone to read a short script in the voice of a famous historical figure, and no one alive would do a better job. This will be so, so, soooo much fun…

The “What we do in the shadows” presentation featured two episodes of their upcoming (and final) season, followed by the hilarious Q&A with the writers and most of the cast.

The Tor event afterwards was about the upcoming book releases and not about the publishing business – but hey, they gave out free advance copies of their novels, so that’s a win!

I also whispered a secret password to a certain artist, which resulted in me joining his henchman army – and getting a snazzy T-shirt!

I wasn’t cool enough to learn about special secret after-parties, but I found a tweet about one of them… And that’s how I ended the day by infiltrating thd meet-up of New York’s comic book creators – writers as well as artists. They were in the reserved section of a nearby spors bar: fun crowd. Made some new friends, got some interesting advice, had some beer… And managed not to fall asleep during the long subway ride back to Jamaica, huzzah!

I’m not sure I could’ve accomplished more today: this was about as efficient as a single day can get. I will absolutely make sure to come back again next year, if it falls on the same week as the Brooklyn film festival – but that’s a story for another time, eh.

Good night, y’all.

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Two new firsts

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August 29, 2024

This is probably the inevitable side effect of having played way too many video games, but I tend to view life in terms of levels, scores, and achievements. Some achievements are quite common: you’ve devoured a dragon fruit, huzzah! But so have billions of other people. Other achievements, however…

This week, I have two rare first-time achievements, and they’re mighty fun.

First, I’ve officially become a published author! Not self-published, mind you: I’ve been selling my e-books on Kindle since 2011 or so. No, something I wrote appeared in an actual book, and I got paid for it, contract and all. This also happens to be my first short story sale! My story, “How to Prepare for Time Travelers in the Workplace,” has been published in a brand new time travel anthology, “Ruth and Ann’s Guide to Time Travel.” (Available wherever you buy your books online.)

This is… Somewhat unreal, eh. I’ve been low-key writing and trying, and finally I got it done. These days, there are more short story writers competing for fewer slots than, say, 70 years ago, during the pulp era. In terms of sheer competitiveness, this is a bit like Olympic gymnastics: if you watch videos of gold medalists from 80 or so years ago, today’s gymnasts (especially Simone Biles!) are basically superheroes compared to them. It’s fun to live in a world that’s advanced so much in just about every competitive field, but that also means we’re playing at a much higher difficulty level than the earlier generations.

In any case, huzzah – and here’s hoping I’ll manage to get more publication credits. Also, that short story takes place in the same universe as my thus-far-unagented sci-fi novel “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide.” With any luck, this will give me that extra bit of visibility that would attract an awesome literary agent. I’m trying multiple things at once, and I’m positive at least one of them will work.

The second fun new achievement is my interview on CBC radio! There’s a weekly meetup group for expats here in Quebec City, and it’s called Bla Bla Language Exchange. Not long ago, we got a visit from a radio journalist who conducted short interviews with some of us. Part of my interview made it into the final broadcast. I’ll never get used to the way my voice sounds on tape, but I suppose that’s a universal human experience, eh? Anyway, head over yonder to listen to the segment (it’s quite fun!) – my part starts at 9:45.

This year doesn’t have a grand hiking adventure (that’ll be in 2025!), but it does have a lot of mini-adventures, each of which is just as fascinating in its own little way. Here is to many, many more.

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