Latest Entries »

The Worldcon of Future Past (short story)

Filed under: writing — Leave a comment
July 13, 2025

WorldConputer-5000 reviewed the agenda. “Bring me Grrrr Martin!” it roared.

“But Your Highness, he perished in a tragic trampoline accident 27 years ago,” said Bobby the Intern just before his shock collar went off.

“Then bring what’s left of him!”

***

“…stupid Conputer. Stupid internship,” Bobby muttered under his breath as he pushed the gruesome cart through the dank tunnel.

“Shh. Someone may overhear,” said Inga as she stepped out of the shadows. Bobby liked her: she always decorated her shock collar with fresh flowers, a luxury from above.

They hugged the wall as a squad of Tesloids marched by. Each Tesloid was an LLC, and thus a corporation, and thus had more rights than a mere intern.

“Do you ever dream about, um, the future?” Bobby asked as he and Inga slowly pushed the cart.

“Only all the time,” she said with a rueful smile.

“I want to become a full citizen,” Bobby said, “but I can’t handle 25 more years of this.” He didn’t specify. He didn’t have to.

Inga put her left hand on his shoulder. “Well, we can always become writers.”

At that, a terrible shriek emanated from a deep tunnel.

“Someone missed a deadline again.”

“How did it ever get this way?” Bobby asked. Inga always knew things others didn’t.

“Ever hear of exponential growth?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Well, it’s when something grows forever, without bounds. It can get out of hand pretty fast…” Her voice trailed off.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s say there were 673 short story nominees in 2025,” Inga said.

“Okay.”

“And in 2026, that number went up by 15%.

“Sure.”

“And then someone centralized the Worldcon by building that monstrosity, and it demanded 15% more output each year.”

“But that’s… That’s…”

“Unsustainable, yeah.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a wretched-looking hairy creature wearing a burlap sack. It ran out of a side tunnel, clutching a filthy keyboard.

“You’ll never get me alive!” the feral writer shouted as three Tesloids gave chase.

They disappeared out of sight. No screams followed.

“Things can’t go on like this,” Bobby said once his heartbeat finally slowed down. “There must be something – anything – we can do.”

Inga stopped and gave him a slow, appraising look.

“Tell me,” she said slowly, “have you ever heard of time travel?”

“Pfft. Fairy tales,” he said with an eyeroll.

Inga’s expression didn’t change. Could it be… Was it possible this wasn’t a prank?

“No way,” he whispered, his eyes wide.

“I’m with the Resistance, Bobby. We have a working prototype. Join us – join me – go back in time, change this timeline.”

“…I’m in.”

“I knew you would be.”

THE END

This short story (flash fiction, really, at 443 words) was written completely spontaneously, when I got visited by a muse. (The muse took the form of a bowl full of pasta with ketchup. Mmmm, carb rush…) I was reading this excellent Bluesky thread by Abigail Nussbaum, a Hugo Award-winning critic and author. In her thread regarding the future of the Worldcon, she wrote, “One thing that the reactions to this thread have really crystalized for me is how amorphous the demand to centralize the running of the Worldcon actually is. After years of having this conversation, I still haven’t seen even a vague sketch of what it would look like.”

The words “even a vague sketch” inspired me, the first skeet came unbidden, and then, well… It was too much fun to stop at just one!

And now, dear reader, there is at least one vague sketch of what the centralized Worldcon would look like. (A very very unserious sketch, but a sketch nonetheless.) You can read my original skeet thread over here. (Yes, we call them “skeets” over yonder. No, we won’t change.)

…it would be pretty funny if after everything I’ve written, after all the sci-fi films I’ve made, this got nominated for the Best Related Work. Heh.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Comment

In which the author takes performance-inducing drugs

Filed under: writing — Leave a comment
July 12, 2025

…by which, to be clear, I mean caffeine and sugar. Mostly caffeine, really. So much caffeine.

I know this is ultimately unhealthy, and I know that Brando Sando (allegedly) doesn’t even consume coffee, but he’s the unattainable ideal of us writers. (The man wrote a bunch of full-length novels in secret while writing his regularly scheduled books during the lockdown.)

On the other hand, there’s Stephen King and Philip K. Dick, both of whom abused hard drugs with gusto. King said there are entire novels from that part of his life that he simply doesn’t remember writing, and PKD’s output was legendary – until he died of stroke at 53. (To be fair, even goody-two-shoes folks can get fatal strokes, and it can’t be proven that the drugs played a part.)

And then there’s me, chugging an extra-large black coffee with a Tim Hortons donut, which had been preceded by a passable cup of coffee and an above-average slice of chocolate cake at a fun little coffee date… The nature of my creative fuel is almost hilariously geeky by comparison, but hey, if it works, it works.

During the long walk home (the damn bus strike – still – but also, the weather was perfect), an old seed of an idea finally sprouted and, well, I aim to spend the rest of the night typing up the first draft of my first foray into a horror story. (With heavy sci-fi elements, of course, because come on…) Then I’ll sleep on it (after binge-watching a few more episodes of Alone), apply several coats of edits and shoe-shine – and then it shall join the ranks of my as-yet-unsold short stories and start the big bounce between the genre magazines looking for this sort of thing.

And now… Time to type, eh.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Comment

In which the author dreams of film festivals

Filed under: adventuring — Leave a comment
July 11, 2025

Ever since my early retirement four years ago, I’ve been trying to have one big theme, one grand adventure per year. Last year, it was my quest for a literary agent: that one took a while, and required writing a whole new novel on top of the existing one, but it finally worked. (I’m very very happy to be represented by Brandy Vallance of the Barbara Bova Literary Agency.)

This year… Well, this year is going to be even more ambitious. About a year ago, I made my first-ever short film, Please Don’t Send Help. I created it using NASA’s archival footage, a $15 budget, and a whole lot of editing, which I learned on the fly. (Pro tip: DaVinci Resolve is amazing free software!) That got me into the Brookly SciFi Film Festival in, well, Brooklyn in October 2024, and then a much bigger festival, Dam Short Film Festival in Nevada just a few months ago. And now I’m hooked, eh.

The theme for this coming year will be “never-ending film fest party.” I’ve made a few more short films since my first one: How to Prepare for Time Travelers in the Workplace, So Long and Thanks for All the Bandwidth, Species Spotlight: Humans, and Drive Me to the Moon. (Good titles are very important!) The last one is my secret weapon, which I’ll try to send out to the biggest festivals of them all. I used the other three, along with Please Don’t Send Help, as part of my shotgun approach to film festival applications: I submitted those four at the same time in hopes that at least one of them will get their sci-fi curator’s attention. And if they don’t – well, life goes on.

Below is the full list of festivals I’ve submitted my films to thus far. My main criteria were reputation, vibes, and hospitality. (There are some small-ish fests on this list that nonetheless have a stellar reputation.) I’ll revisit this post in about a year, once everything is done. I’m sharing my list in the interest of full disclosure: if any other newbie filmmaker is reading this, I hope they’ll find my strategy helpful!

These film submissions ranged in price from free to $50 per film, and I’m not gonna lie – this cost me a pretty penny. However, a) if this works as planned, then I’ll spend the entirety of October and March bouncing from one amazing party to another, and b) if I get in, there’s usually an alumni discount (i.e., no need to pay the submission fee again in the future), and c) this is an adventure, eh!

I don’t expect to get into all 100% of those (though it’d be neat to get into the one in Finland: Quebec sponsors their filmmakers’ flight to that one!), but I think I have a fair chance with quite a few of them. Time will show how this grand project will play out: hubris, glory, a bit of both? We’ll see.

And so:

FestivalLocationDate
Festival de Cinema de la Ville de QuebecQCSept 10-14 2025
Cindependent Film FestivalCincinnattiSept 18-20
Healdsburg International Short Film FestivalHealdsburg, CASeptember 26-28
Cordillera International Film FestivalRenoSeptember 25 – 29, 2025
Portland Film FestivalPortlandOctober 1-5
ReadingFilmFESTPAOctober 9-12
Tallgrass Film FestivalWichita, KansasOctober 16-19
Hamilton Film FestivalOntarioOctober 17 – 26
SPASMMontrealOctober 22 – November 1, 2025
Coast Film & Music FestivalLaguna Beach, CANovember 1-9
Yucca Valley Film FestivalYucca Valley, CANovember 7-9
Centre Film FestivalPANovember 10-16
Cucalorus Film FestivalNCNovember 19-23
Utah Film FestivalUTJanuary 1-5 hahaha
Lookout Wild Film FestivalChattanooga, TNJanuary 10-18
Dam Short Film FestivalNevadaFeb 11-16
Beaufort International Film FestivalSCFeb 17-22
Sedona International Film FestivalAZFeb 22-Mar 2
Tampere Film FestivalFinland!Mar 4-8
Sonoma International Film FestivalCAMarch 25-29
Fargo Film FestivalNDMarch 17-21
Cleveland International Film FestivalOHApr 9-18
Julien Dubuque International Film FestivalIowaApr 18-25
Atlanta Film FestivalAtlantaApr 23-May 3
Stony Brook Film FestivalNYJuly 17-26
The Norwegian Short Film FestivalNorwayJune 11-15-ish
Nevada City Film FestivalCA (the “Nevada” part is a red herring)June 19-22-ish

And now I wait… Yesterday, the first of these festivals got back to me: ReadingFilmFest has accepted Please Don’t Send Help, so I know where I’ll be around October 10th! One down, 26 to go, woooo!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Comment

In which the author gets his daily steps – and then some!

Filed under: on stuff and sundry — Leave a comment
July 10, 2025

If my eventual cause of death isn’t “misadventure,” I will be very very surprised. For anyone in the distant future trying to make sense of my life and/or to create a facsimile virtual mind (good luck with that, bud), this here is a fine example of one of the core parts of my personality…

Quebec City’s bus drivers are on strike. Again. This time, the strike is 13 days long, timed specifically to coincide with the gigantic annual music festival, FEQ. I had been under the (very wrong, very misguided) impression that the strike had ended. That was incorrect.

When I got up, my plan for the day was fairly simple, as those things go: take a leisurely 90-minute walk (yes, 90) to the local Ikea, enjoy their 50% off Thursday dining hall, get a few tiny parts for my bookshelf (each move takes its toll, eh), then take the bus to the tourist sector, return a couple of library books, pick a new book, then rush back to the bus to take advantage of the 90-minute bus pass window, and head home. Easy-peasy, right? Wrong.

The 90-minute hike went fairly well: I got to experience a new (and not very impressive) part my city firsthand, with my own feet and nose and eyes. The Ikea visit was only partially productive, but their diner was fine as always. And then… Well, then I realized I could either walk 90 minutes back home, or 150 minutes (that’s 2.5 hours) to the tourist sector (aka Old Quebec), followed by a two-hour hike home afterwards. Reader, I chose option B.

I have two legs, high stamina, and way too much stubbornness for my own damn good. (Incidentally, this is yet another reason women usually live longer than men.) If I went home, I might as well have postponed all my library-related plans for 96 whole hours, assuming the strike ended on schedule. I support the drivers’ right to strike, but I also refuse to stay put. My 2022 PCT thru-hike is partially to blame: after you walk from Mexico to Canada, from that point on just about anything is in walking distance. It’s only a matter of logistics, really.

And, well, that’s how I got my 56,800 steps for the day, aka 28.4 kilometers or 17.6 miles. With a roughly 10lb backpack on my back. Also got a damn fine dose of vitamin D, and a bit of a sunburn on my face, but it wouldn’t be the first time. (Though, admittedly, the contrast between my arms (currently a nice shade of brown) and the rest of my body (Snow White’s long-lost brother from another mother) is mighty hilarious.

No regrets. Ever.

In creative news, my debut film (Please Don’t Send Help) has been accepted by two film festivals! One has asked me to postpone the announcement till later (secrecy makes everything more exciting), and the other one is ReadingFilmFest, an annual film festival held in the town of West Reading, PA. I’ve never been to Pennsylvania in my life, so it’ll be exciting to attend that fest in person in October. (Their generous assistance with lodging is much appreciated!) I’ll make another post soon about my rather ambitious plans to make a film festival circuit of my very own… ReadingFilmFest was definitely part of that list. One down, many more to go!

And now, time to lean back, enjoy a big cold beer, and play some Stardew Valley to unwind… Aww yeah.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Comment

In which the author experiments with ultra-minimalism

Filed under: on stuff and sundry — Leave a comment
June 26, 2025

Been sleeping on the floor these past five weeks. This has been due to a very logical set of decisions culminating in a pretty eccentric conclusion. I wrote about it a few posts ago, but briefly: my attempted thru-hike from Mexico to Canada ended prematurely, all my things were in storage, and I still had my empty apartment’s lease till July 1.

Ipso facto, didn’t make much sense to deal with a moving truck for just a few weeks.As of right now, my studio apartment has one small cooking pot (no lid), one fork, one pocket knife (mangos are hard!), a small pile of clothes, a laptop, a cellphone, a few chargers, some hygiene stuff, and two empty backpacks. Oh, and the sleeping bag I use on the floorboards (I’m not a barbarian), though without a mat (I’m not a king). There are also kitchen appliances (fridge, freezer, stove), but they’re more or less a default setting for rentals.

And… that’s pretty much it. Since mid-May, I joined a nice little anglophone library, attended a book sale, and have acquired a small stack of books that I haven’t quite read yet. In other words, the usual routine has been reestablished.I like to think of myself as a minimalist with a bit of an art hoard, but this is mighty minimalistic even for me, eh. This strange little lifestyle design experiment has had some interesting outcomes…

For example, I don’t miss my art, or my cool gem and mineral collection. Not sure if that’s because I’d gotten so used to them over the years, or because mentally, I’m still in a flux over the failed thru-hike adventure. (Not bad, just weird; a lot of compulsive walking.)

I have internet access through my phone’s frankly exorbitant data plan, and I use my phone as a hotspot whenever I need to do something on my laptop. I’m not streaming anything because I want to preserve all those gigabytes, and I rather miss Netflix. And gaming, even though I realize how addictive that hobby is. (I literally dream of Skyrim.)

Ironically and unexpectedly, the thing I miss the most is radio. Just a plain old little radio-clock cube thingy that can be set to a local station, to babble at me in that beautiful blend that is the Quebecois French, because, frankly, it’s impossible to learn from any app. (The continental French is an entirely different animal.)

One objective improvement has been my productivity. With my desktop in storage, I haven’t made any new short films, but now I have so much time (and so few distractions) to simply write. Over the pasy five weeks, I’ve written five short stories. They range in length from 333 to 5,400 words, and one of them has already been accepted by a Canadian anthology, woooo! (More on that later, once the contract is signed.) Also, I’ve just signed the contract for another anthology – this one will be about superheroes, and will feature my February story “To Fly or Not to Fly.” (Inspired by my experience with bureaucracies and the time I jumped into traffic to save a feral toddler.) The other stories I’ve written recently (and earlier) are awaiting replies from a wide variety of magazines. There’s one particular (and major) magazine that has been sitting on my new submitted story for quite a while now… I’m cautiously optimistic, given that their usual turnaround time is just a day or two.

All in all, this has been the most productive stretch of my life, writing-wise. Perhaps it’s the near-isolation, or the sheer emptiness of my living space (my studio isn’t big, but it looks huge without 97% of my stuff), or the fact that the weather is finally good enough to go on looong walks (think 2-5 hours) without being threatened by the elements – just walking and thinking and meditating on new plots and absorbing random new experiences. (Quebec City didn’t get its T-shirt weather till late May. I love this town, but I swear, the spring is getting colder every year.)

Or maybe it’s none of those things, and the wacky desert adventure, where each day had more new experiences than a fortnight in this town, reshuffled my brain and finally helped me internalize the way the narrative process works. I had so many stranger-than-fiction encounters in that desert… I miss it.

Or maaaaybe the secret factor here is that I’ve been doing a helluva lot of reading. In addition to going through my gigantic “to read” list (it’s in triple figures!), I’ve also been devouring the Wolrdcon finalist packet. Worldcon is the biggest annual sci-fi/fantasy convention (held in Seattle this year), and since they picked me for their short film festival, I figured I might as well go for the full event, not just for one day. $275 bought me full membership privileges, the convention pass (it’ll be so much fun to finally meet all my favourite authors), and the PDF versions of all the short stories, novelettes, novellas, and novels (and many other categories) that made it to the final round of voting.

I take my newfound responsibility seriously, which is why I’m reading all of them. Every last one. They are delicious, eh. Currently almost done with Adrian Tchaikovsky’s “Service Model” – that novel is an absolute blast. (Think Wall-E mixed with Fallout.) I’ve literally laughed out loud – and often – while reading it. Five stars, highly recommended.

So, yeah, inspiration galore. About a week from now, I’ll move into my new apartment (it’ll have a balcony! but no bathtub…) and get all my things from storage, and my life will once again have Netflix, and video games, and other time magnets. Here is hoping the new habits will stick.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comment

On symbolism and lack thereof

Filed under: writing — Leave a comment
June 16, 2025

A while back, I wrote that I personalize my social media to absorb only interesting factoids or insights from folks who are experts in certain topics. That doesn’t always pay off (I’ve had to mute a lot of politicians’ names), but when it does, it’s beautiful. Today was one of those days.

Recently, there was a big debate about symbolism: someome made a webcomic where they mocked a Literature professor and implied that Poe’s raven was a happy accident, not a deliberate choice. I’m not going to repost the webcomic here because it turned out its creator was 16 when they made that cringeworthy (but surprisingly artistic!) masterpiece. What folks do before their 18th birthday ought to be a sealed record.

In the aftermath of that online debate, someone posted a link to a fascinating article on the topic. In 1963, a teen asked top writers about their use of symbolism. Here’s what they said…

The article, which is already great all on its own, also mentioned an amazing essay by Mary McCarthy, “Settling the Colonel’s Hash.” She’d published a non-fiction piece that sounded like short story: her train ride amd debate with an antisemitic colonel. Far too many people assumed her story was fiction, and proceeded to over-analyze it, hunting for clever symbols when there were none.

In her “Settling the Colonel’s Hash” essay, years later, McCarthy dived deep into the dangers of looking too hard for symbolism, even when the author’s intent is right there. Enjoy this PDF version of her essay.

Some of my favourite bits:

1. “from the Middle West” is such a posh way to say “Midwesterner”

2. “A surprising number wanted exact symbols; for example, they searched for the significance of the colonel’s eating hash and the autor eating a sandwich.” (I love this weapons-grade snark.)

3. “If the colonel had ordered a fruit salad with whipped cream, this too would have represented him in some way; given his other traits, it would have pointed to a complexity in his character that the hash did not suggest.” (The fact that it’s true makes it that much funnier.)

4. “He declined to be categorized as anti-Semite; he regarded himself as an independent thinker, who by a happy chance thought the same as everybody else.” (That describes folks – especially men – today every bit as much as 60 years ago…)

There are many more amazing bits, but I don’t want to spoil that beautiful essay for you. Enjoy that 10-page read, and take your time – it’s worth it.

…and as for me, sometimes I find so beautiful that I simply must include it in my short films. Other times, it’s only at the very end of the editing process that I find a tiny detail that ties in perfectly with my theme – but had sneaked in right under my nose. And then, of course, there are lots of tiny little jokes in my short stories. Some of them are more noticeable than others, but I don’t deliberately sprinkle symbolism all over the place. (Though, as McCarthy wrote, everything we do is symbolic, which means that’s ultimately inescapable.)

And now I’m off to put a couple of more layers of polish on my new short story. (Technically, this whole symbolism foray – both reading and blogging – has been procrastination on my short story, which is, in turn, a way of procrastinating on my not-yet-started new novel.) The story is my first attempt at fantasy, or at least urban-ish fantasy. “Some Notes on Becoming a God” will end up around 3,000 words, and it touches on some mighty topical modern issues. Let’s see who’ll want to publish it, eh?

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Comment

Losses and wins

Filed under: wanderlust, writing — Leave a comment
June 3, 2025

My desert adventure ended early. I wrote about it in depth on my trail journal. Short version: my legs got several injuries, the trail was a lot less developed than advertised (at least 10% included walking on the side of a highway…), and it was soul-crushingly lonely. It was considered normal to walk 3-4 days without seeing another human being. This year, in particular, there was a shortage of hikers, especially from other countries. (Probably due to the politics and the ongoing harassment of foreign tourists.)

The loneliness bit may have been partly due to bad luck. There was one experienced hiker (she’d done the Triple Crown (hiking all three major trails) twice) who managed to form a trail family of eight people around her by the time she reached the first town, 83 miles from the border. Impressive, that. Others ended up walking outside such bubbles.

The desert was beautiful, though… I’d never seen the Milky Way so bright, not even in the Sierra-Nevada mountains during my PCT thru-hike in 2022. Along the way, I explored the ghost town of Old Hachita – or what’s left of it. Those ruins were some grade-A Wild West Americana.

In the end, I made it 155 miles before calling it quits in Silver City, NM. The downtown Palace Hotel was incredibly hiker-friendly, and there were quite a few of us there. Many were recovering from their own injuries, most of them less serious than my own. It was a bit like a hiker-trash field hospital in that respect. My initial (and very very ambitious) plan had been to do the entire Triple Crown by completing the Continental Divide Trail this year, followed by the Appalachian Trail in 2026. But over at that hotel… Yeesh. Yeesh, I say. Multiple thruhikers (who had saved the CDT for last) I met would complain about how much they disliked the AT, and how they were forcing themselves to do the CDT.

I listened to their woeful laments, and nodded, and sympathized – and also asked myself, “Self, is that what I sound like?”

There comes a point when pursuing an overly ambitious quest becomes not merely eccentric or quixotic, but self-destructive, with not much fun along the way. A lot of that desert section was beautiful, and I met some unique and interesting people, but hiking on the side of the highway, alone, with coal-rolling trucks spewing exhaust in my face… That doesn’t count as a “National Scenic Trail” in my book.

…though to be fair, if my legs hadn’t decided to fall apart (should I have done more ThighMaster exercises beforehand?..), and if it had been just a bit less lonely, I might have carried on, if only out of sheer stubbornness.

Ah well.

The unplanned return back to Quebec was pricey: a flight from Silver City to Albuquerque (a very cheap, very tiny propeller plane; great experience!), from there to New York, and from there, an all-night bus back home. My apartment lease was still good until June 30th, so that’s where I’ve been for the past two weeks. No furniture (still in storage), only my sleeping bag, the contents of my hiking backpack, and a big bag of “welcome home” stuff I’d packed away for easy access. (The initial plan had been to finish the hike, get an AirBnB, and hunt for apartments.)

It makes no sense to hire a moving truck, move my stuff back here, and then move it back to my new apartment (just found one) on July 1, soooo here I am, trapped in the midst of strange logistics. Just an empty studio, a sleeping bag, a few books, my phone, and my laptop. (I use the phone as a hotspot when I need to do laptop-specific things.)

It’s a hilarious parody of a bachelor’s life (though fortunately, my girlfriend was glad to see me back early!), but on the upside, I’ve gotten quite a lot done. I’ve already finished a couple of new short stories, caught up on a lot of reading, and done some other productive stuff. If I’d returned to my TV, gaming computer, and unlimited internet, my productivity would’ve been a whole lot lower, eh.

I’ve got some good news, too. I always juggle a lot of different projects, and a few of them paid off:

My essay “A Hierarchy of Apocalypses” has been published in Phano, making it my first-ever non-fiction sale. (I’m not including my Kindle e-books.) Also, the pixel art the editor had picked to go with my essay is a thing of beauty.

“If Time Travel Were Possible…” (a short story set in my OTTO-verse) has been published in Black Cat Weekly, which also resulted in my first-ever fan mail!

“Murder of the Orient Express” (of, not on!) has been published in Pulp Asylum. The title is a bit of a funny story: a couple of podcast hosts had a blooper moment when they mispronounced the title of that classic novel, and they laughed it off. But that got me thinking… Who would want to kill an actual train itself? Why? And how? And thus this story was born!

…and I have a few more waiting in the wings.

It’s a bit funny: in the short-story biz, an “emerging writer” is defined as someone who has three or fewer publishing credits. I guess that makes me an emerged writer, eh?

One particular cool piece of news is that my short film, “Please Don’t Send Help,” got accepted by the first-ever Worldcon Film Festival! Worldcon is the biggest annual sci-fi convention in the world, and this will be their first addition of a film festival alongside all the author-related events. This year, it’s held in Seattle, in mid-August. I’ll get to attend it for free for one day when my film screens, and it’ll be a fun experience, being there as a sci-fi creator, but not (or at least not yet) a published novelist. Just like with my one-day visit to the New York Comic Con last October, I’ll have to make the most of it!

And speaking of film festivals… I’ve got at least two dozen major film fests I’ve applied for. (Why yes, I do have a problem.) All of them are famous for their hospitality, hard to get into, and/or will get me sponsored by Quebec if I get picked. That’s mostly for the European festivals, but I really like my odds with the Finnish Tampere fest! We’ll see.

If even a few of those festivals accept me (and I submitted four films to each one, to boost my odds), that’ll result in more partying within a single year than in my entire life up to this point. All those submission fees have cost me a pretty penny (even with the carefully timed early-bird discounts), but a) parties! and b) unforgettable experiences and c) possibly new grand adventures stemming from those new connections?, and d) once you get accepted, you usually get a lifelong alumni discount, meaning no more fees ever again.

And so, while my dream of becoming an elite professional thru-hiker has gone bust, the upside is that I’d be able to attend my film’s screening at my dream sci-fi convention (that would’ve been impossible if I kept hiking), and I’ve used all this free time (and utter lack of distractions) to double-down on my artsy endeavours. Let’s see how this plays out, eh?

…there’s a distinct possibility that a year from today, I’ll be completely frazzled, drained of energy, filled with way too many conflicting and overlapping memories of far too many events (what folks in the biz call “the festival brain”), but that kind of fatigue will be a good problem to have – or, as I call these things, #GrigoryProblems

I hope all y’all are about to have a fun summer too!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comment

In which the author walks from Mexico to Canada (again)

Filed under: adventuring — Leave a comment
April 27, 2025

Hi friends! I’m leaving on my Continental Divide Trail adventure (hiking from Mexico to Canada). I’ll be away for at least 4 months. I’ll post pictures, videos, and daily journals (when I get reception) over yonder:

https://www.instagram.com/hellamellowfellow

https://youtube.com/@hellamellowfellow?si=zImzXuhIsvzFXmA3

https://trailjournals.com/journal/entry/678787

If I don’t post several days in a row, it’s probably because there’s no reception. (Inconceivable, I know.) Have a great summer, y’all!

P.S.: I leave you with this – the funniest video ever made. https://youtu.be/2wEtVERXQWE

Tags: , ,
Comment

My CDT travelogue

Filed under: Uncategorized — Leave a comment
April 18, 2025

I’m a huge believer in research. In preparation for my Continental Divide Trail adventure, I did a lot of reading and note-taking, and this here is the result. This will be my crowdsourced guide as I make my way from Mexico to Canada, and I hope it helps some of you too, eh.

My information sources were Reddit, the annual HalfwayAnywhere hiker survey, and trail journals by Cornfed, Daybreak, and Flatfoot. I’m going to keep a trail journal of my own: that seems to be a disappearing art form, which is as sad as it is logical. Fewer and fewer folks post written updates about their adventures, opting for videos instead. It’s a lot harder to speed-read and cross-reference video logs, and if something ever happens to that platform… But also, the inherent laziness is always a factor – it’s much much easier for me to write something down than to record, edit, tag, and post a video. (In my defense, I was already 20 when youtube was founded.)

I’ll keep a daily log of my adventures over yonder: https://trailjournals.com/journal/entry/678787

Mandatory disclaimer: double-check this information before you hike. Sometimes, post offices or businesses shut down, and they might be closed on weekends. Make your own decisions, eh. All the quotes in the detailed travelogue section come from previous hikers’ trail journals.

And so…

CDT shuttle water caches:

Water Cache 1: Mile 14.1 (01_141WT)

Water Cache 2: Mile 25.9 (01_259WT)

Water Cache 3: Mile 45.4 (02_194WT)

Water Cache 4: Mile 58.3 (03_127WT)

Water Cache 5: Mile 78.2 (04_198WT)

Suggested Mailing Resupply (from Halfway Anywhere’s annual survey):

Pie Town (New Mexico) 83.7%

Doc Campbell’s (New Mexico) 41.0%

Ghost Ranch (New Mexico) 35.5%

Lima (Montana) 35.5%

Leadore via Bannock Pass (Idaho) 31.9%

Encampment via Battle Pass (Wyoming) 30.1%

East Glacier Village (Montana) 29.5%

South Pass City (Wyoming) 13.3%

Twin Lakes (Colorado) 12.1%

Chama via Cumbres Pass (New Mexico via Colorado) 9.6%

Mailing resupply, in order:

1 – Doc Campbell’s (New Mexico, mile 39 of the Gila Alternate, or ~mile 209 of CDT)

Gila Alternate is 106 miles long; rejoins the red line at mile 344)

The next resupply is 70 miles away: Reserve – a hitch from mile 367. 

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>

C/O Doc Campbell’s Post, 3796 Highway 15, Mimbres, NM 88049

2 – Pie Town (New Mexico, mile 415)

The next resupply after that is Grants: 109 miles away.

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>, 33 Apricot Ave, Pie Town, NM 87827-5000

2a. Cuba, mile 628 – send the snow gear here!

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>, 6358 US-550, Cuba, NM 87013

3 – Ghost Ranch (New Mexico, mile 11 of the Gila Alternate, or ~mile 686 of CDT) 

The next resupply is 94 miles away: Chama.

Ghost Ranch’s physical address: 280 Private Drive 1708, Abiquiu, NM, 87510-2001 (of course, add “Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>”)

4 – Chama via Cumbres Pass (New Mexico via Colorado, mile 780)

The next resupply is 67 miles away: Pagosa Springs & South Fork, mile 847.

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>, 199 5th St W, Chama, NM 87520

<<< Shipping stuff to Twin Lakes: Pagosa Springs at mile 847 has a Walmart >>>

5 – Twin Lakes (Colorado, mile 1,144)

Many resupply points afterwards. I’m aiming for Breckenridge: 76 miles away.

Twin Lakes General Store:

Attn: [first & last name] [ETA]
6451 E. State Highway 82,
Twin Lakes, CO, 81251-9724

<<< Shipping stuff to Wyoming: Fraser – a hitch from mile 1,290 >>>

6 – Encampment via Battle Pass (Wyoming, mile 1,529)

The next resupply point is 82 miles away: Rawlins, mile 1,611

Hmmmm… There’s an option to skip it entirely with a mega-hike:

“Many people shoot straight from Steamboat Springs, CO, to Rawlins, WY, instead of hitching into Encampment on a low traffic road. It is 160 miles, the first half is a lot easier than the preceding part of CO and the second half is mostly the Basin and so is basically flat.”

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>, 622 McCaffrey Ave, Encampment, WY 82325

7 – South Pass City (Wyoming, mile 1,729)

The next resupply point is 79+11 miles away: Pinedale, accessed from Pole Creek Trailhead (mile 1,808) + a hitch.

South Pass City State Historic Site, 125 S Pass Main St, South Pass City, WY 82520
[Note: this seems sketchy, but after a lot of searching and vague references to hikers picking up their boxes, this seems like the most reasonable place to send them to.]

<<< Shipping stuff to Idaho: Dubois, mile 1,888 >>>

8 – Lima (Montana, mile 2,146) 

The next resupply point is 104 miles away: Leadore, but it’s also rumoured to be overpriced…

Mountain View Motel:

Hold for CDT hiker: <Name> ETA: <Date>, 111 Bailey Street PO Box 277, Lima, MT 59739

9 – Leadore (Idaho via Bannock Pass, mile 2,250)

The next good resupply point is 123 miles away: Darby, MT

(there are some tiny towns with tiny stores along the way; long hitches)

Stage Stop: 100 S Railroad St, Leadore, ID 83464 

<<< Shipping stuff to Montana: Helena, mile 2,639 >>>

10. East Glacier Village (Montana, mile 2,895)

98 miles to the finish line – no more resupplies.

Looking Glass Hostel: 1112 MT-49, East Glacier Park, MT 59434

Full(-ish) list of resupply stops:

New Mexico

Mile 84: Lordsburg

Mile 158: Silver City

Mile 38 of Gila Alternate: Doc Campbell’s (recommended to mail food)

Mile 415: Pie Town (recommended to mail food)

Mile 525: Grants

Mile 629: Cuba

Mile 689: Chama via Cumbres Pass

Colorado

Mile 847: Pagosa Springs via Wolf Creek Pass

Mile 961: Lake City via Spring Creek Pass

Mile 1061: Salida via Monarch Pass

Mile 1144: Twin Lakes

Mile 1181: Leadville

Mile 1216: Breckenridge

Mile 1290: Winter Park

Mile 1343: Grand Lake

Mile 1436: Steamboat Springs via Rabbit Ears Pass

Wyoming

Mile 1520: Encampment via Battle Pass (recommended to mail food)

Mile 1602: Rawlins

Mile 1722: Lander

Mile 1799: Pinedale

Mile 16.1 of Old CDT Alt: Dubois via Togwotee Pass

Mile 1988: Old Faithful Village in Yellowstone

Idaho/Montana

Mile 15 of Macks Inn Alternate: Island Park / Mack’s Inn

Mile 2134: Lima (recommended resupply box)

Mile 2236: Leadore via Bannock Pass (recommended resupply box) (long food carry!)

Mile 2358: Darby via Chief Joseph Pass

Mile 27 of Anaconda Cutoff: Anaconda

Mile 2618: Helena

Mile 2686: Lincoln

Mile 2744: Augusta (long food carry!)

Mile 2877: East Glacier Village (recommended to mail food)

Towns, in order:

Mile 84: Lordsburg, NM

Buffet:

Does Lordsburg’s “Los Victor’s” have the same free salsa bar as the one in Silver City?..
Silver City description:
“My favorite reason to eat there after a hike is they have a complimentary salsa bar with homemade tortilla chips, 3 red + 2 green salsas + fresh pico. Make up a big plate of chips and salsa while waiting on your meal. As for the main course, I usually go with 2 breakfast burritos which are on special all day at $5/each and are fat, not those little skimpy burritos you get at the hipster places in Colorado.”

+

Water in Lordsburg sucks; there is a machine at the grocery store where you can fill bottles for like $0.50.

+

We decide on the EconoLodge. It’s $55 per night, but hikers get a $10 discount so it’s only $45 for the total for the room (not per person). Our $40 room also includes a continental breakfast buffet featuring a waffle maker?

+

After checking in, we head across the street to get some food at Kranberry’s. This place also turns out to be very hiker-friendly with excellent food and service (note: they do not sell alcohol). With full bellies, we go about the rest of our town chores: resupplying at the grocery store, buying beer, showering, using a flushing toilet, and doing laundry ($5 per load and the hotel washes it for you).

+

The town’s sole restaurant is closed on Sundays.

+

Just north of Lordsburg, the trail disappears for a few miles: no markers, confusing.

Mile 158: Silver City, NM

The bar/distillery has karaoke nights!

+

Buffet:

Los Victor’s:
“My favorite reason to eat there after a hike is they have a complimentary salsa bar with homemade tortilla chips, 3 red + 2 green salsas + fresh pico. Make up a big plate of chips and salsa while waiting on your meal. As for the main course, I usually go with 2 breakfast burritos which are on special all day at $5/each and are fat, not those little skimpy burritos you get at the hipster places in Colorado.”

Mile 367. The Reserve, NM

“Started the day with a big breakfast at Ella’s Cafe consisting of the  “Kitchen Sink” which is an omelet with everything in it and 4 pieces of toast.”

Mile 415. Pie Town, NM

14 miles south of Pie Town on our alternate, there is a place called “Davila Ranch CDT Rest Facility”. By the sounds of it, this place offers many amenities such as laundry, a kitchen, showers, etc. There isn’t lodging, but to stop at a place and clean up will be great. Pie Town doesn’t have much to offer for Thru Hikers, so this alternate is a common choice for most of us

[$35 suggested donation]

+

the post office closes at noon

Mile 525, Grants

Buffet:

Asian buffet (by the Walmart)

Mile 675. Abiquiu, NM

“That place was expensive, glad I didn’t need to do a full resupply. “

Mile 686. Ghost Ranch, NM

While you could mail food to Ghost Ranch to break up a long carry, the better option is to go into Santa Fe if time allows. On weekdays there is a free bus that will take you into Santa Fe from Ghost Ranch. The Santa Fe International hostel is $30 a night or so and typically has a fully loaded kitchen with tons of donated Whole Foods food. The bus to Santa Fe has a transfer in Espanola where you can hit up a BBQ joint within walking distance of the bus depot. Smokey Shack BBQ is run by a 2012 CDT graduate and the food is absolutely some of the best you will have on trail.

Mile 780. Pagosa Springs, NM

“The Malt Shop”. I ordered a dense burger and an ice cream cone that was probably taller than my head. 

Mile 780 (+ 31.2 Elwood Pass Alternate). Creede, CO

A mile or two later I made it to Creede. I’ve come across some cool towns in my life before while on thru hikes, but Creede just might take the cake for the coolest location. This town reminds me of Lake City (which is about an hour away). It has a few more crummy spots in town, but it’s located in the bottom of a tall canyon which is beautiful, especially in the golden hour. I walked through the downtown area, and went into a restaurant to order a pizza and beer. Skunk rolled into town later and found me. 

+

After enjoying some town food, I went to the hostel in town. This “John Lawley’s Place” hostel is donation based, and the care takers are some of the nicest people around. Most donation based hostels are kind of run down, but this place is great and well kept. They will be getting a nice donation from me. Once I claimed a bed, I went to the local bar. [And got 3 free shots from the impressed locals! 😀]

Mile 961. Lake City, CO via Spring Creek Pass

Lake City Presbyterian Church, which has established an “annex” for hikers, a building where we can hang out, shower, charge equipment, etc. 

Around mile 1,040

“Mt Elbert, the highest mountain in Colorado and second highest in the lower 48, at 14,433 feet. I’m embarrassed to admit I only found out about this opportunity yesterday while walking around Twin Lakes, when I spotted an industrial plant with “Mt Elbert” in its name. As it turned out, the side trail up Mt Elbert left the CDT less than three miles from the campground Uphill, Low Branch, and I slept at last night. There are actually two side trails: the South, which I went up, and the North, which I took down. The South Trail was longer but immaculate, with gentle switchbacks, a smooth tread, and wood or rock steps where they were called for.”

Mile 1,061. Salida, CO via Monarch Pass

Hayduke’s Hideout may well be the best hostel on the CDT. The living quarters are located in a massive converted garage that contains several refrigerators, couches, rugs on the floor, and charging stations for our electronics. Oh yeah, there’s a beer tap as well. 

Mile 1,089. Copper Mountain Resort, CO

The Ten Mile Tavern for a burger, fries, beer, and salad that came to $40, with the tip. Is it just Colorado, or has inflation gripped the country more than I realized since I’ve been on the trail?

Mile 1,167. Leadville, CO

“Skunk and I hitched into town. I went to “Zero Day Coffee” to pick up a small package. The shop is run by former thru hikers, and they allow hikers to mail stuff to their shop rather than the Post Office. Inside were my rain mittens. I’m glad to have those back. I then went to ”Tennessee Pass Cafe” to eat lunch where I ate some beloved red meat.”

+

There was a line at High Mountain Pies, but the pizza was well worth the wait

Mile 1,305. Grand Lake, CO

“I walked to the Mountain Market where Skunk and Forgettable were. All of us grabbed food from inside to eat and resupplied after. This place was extremely expensive, fortunately the stretch to Steamboat Springs isn’t too long.”

+

Highway-walk around the RMNP!

“The trail from Grand Lake goes through Rocky Mountain National Park. This year RMNP decided to make it mandatory for thru hikers to carry bear canisters through the park. I am yet to see a Thru hiker out here with a bear canister. Rumor has it that there have been hikers attempting to go through without canisters, getting caught, and then getting a hefty fine to pay. What RMNP rangers must not realize is that Thru Hikers have the capability to get in and out of the park in a day very easily, maybe even half a day. Due to this inconvenience, nearly all hikers (that I know of, at least) are highway walking around RMNP. Is this really necessary, RMNP? The road walk continues.”

Mile 1,386. Encampment & Riverside, WY

“Encampment and Riverside are a dual town, just a mile apart. Many of the Encampment businesses listed in the GoFar app have been shuttered, so Riverside is the place to be.”

Mile 1,581. South Pass City, WY 

“South Pass City is just a gift shop; Atlantic City has 2 restaurants but they both might be closed. (Were both closed on Tuesday in July.) The sole open business was Wild Bill’s bed& breakfast, but it might not have food.”

Mile 1,602. Rawlins, WY

Buffet:

the lunch buffet at the Thai place (Anong’s)

Mile 1,722. Lander, WY

“Lander is a nice town, but unless you really want to get the long hitch in, skip it and send a resupply box to South Pass City. The museum there will let you charge electronics.”

Mile 1,808. Pinedale, WY

“Don’t rush the Wind River Range (Wyoming). They were easily my favorite section. Plan on breaking it up by going into Pinedale so you don’t have to rush through there.”

Mile 1,847. Dubois, WY

Dubois, WY (mile 1,847) doesn’t sell any Altra Lone Peak shoes, but Jackson, WY does. It’ll require a hitch. (“the REI happened to be on the Southwest side”)

[Jackson is an 86-mile drive from Dubois; 1h 41min…]

+

[Dubois] “I resupplied at the Family Dollar. The Family Dollar was much more affordable than the other grocery store in town”

+

get dropped off in the middle of the city, not at the edge. Long roadwalk otherwise.

Village Cafe has giant portions. 🙂

+

The Church of Christ hosts thru-hikers.

+

allegedly the last place for a looong while to find affordable electrolyte packages

Mile 1,910

“With so many horse trails in the area, I took a wrong turn.”

Mile 1,975. Grant Village (Yellowstone National Park)

Buffet:

“The breakfast buffet at Grant Village rivaled that of the Timberline Lodge on the PCT.” 

+

“Grant Village is a strange place. Everything this place has to offer is very spread out and weirdly placed. A laundromat/shower center was close, so us three walked there and began a load of laundry. I was going to pay for a shower and a towel, but to my surprise the showers for CDT hikers are free thanks to donations. After a shower, I walked in the rain to the campground to pay for a place to camp for the night.”

+

“There’s an all you can eat breakfast buffet at a restaurant here in Grant Village, so every hiker in the area usually attends.”

+

“In order to camp in Yellowstone, we need “Backcountry Permits”. The bad thing is that they are all sold out for the day, and if someone gets caught without a permit while camping, it’s a $600 fine. I did not want to take a zero day here, but I was basically forced into it. I would rather take a day off than risk paying a $600 bill. I went to the office in Grant Village and made a backcountry reservation for tomorrow for myself and Pace.”

Mile 2,000. Old Faithful Village

Buffet:

Old Faithful Inn buffet (last year they also let hikers shower for free!)

“After the geyser explosion, we hiked the remaining three miles to “Old Faithful Village”. It was close to lunch time, and we had heard about a lunch buffet at one of the buildings”

+

an alternate:

“From here the CDT doesn’t go past many more geysers or mineral pools, so many hikers road walk to the town of “West Yellowstone” in order to see more of the park. I did the same, even though walking on hard surface isn’t as fun.”

+

“With the majority of hikers taking the “Big Sky alternate route” (an alternate that cuts off about 250 miles out of West Yellowstone), I have not seen hardly any NOBO’s since leaving West Yellowstone.”

Mile 2,146. Lima, MT

“The Mountain View Motel, which was fully booked for the night, but for 10 bucks allows hikers to set up their tents behind the motel, shower, and do laundry.”

+

“Last night may have been my worst of the hike so far, in part because the tenting area at the Mountain View Motel and RV park is about 100 yards from the interstate.”

+

“My next stop was the gas station. There is no grocery store in Lima, so the overpriced gas station items would have to do. Since Lima is small, everything is close by. The laundromat is technically part of the motel in town, so I walked over a block to take care of laundry. Us four hikers loitered inside the laundromat while doing laundry and taking turns showering.”

Mile 2,238. Leadore, ID

“Resupplying in small towns is expensive, but that’s how it goes sometimes.”

+

“I planned to go back to the gas station for some beer, but unfortunately it closed at 4:00 without me realizing it.”

+

“Not all towns are created equal – the one restaurant/bar in Leadore, Idaho is quite a terrible and hate-filled place. Probably don’t go there.”

Mile 2,358. Darby, MT

“he informed me that the “Montana Cafe” had great food and was going to close in about an hour. He also told me their card machine was down so I needed cash.”

+

“Our first stop was the Montana Cafe, renowned for its huge portions. My blueberry pancake was the size of a large frisbee.”

+

“I remembered Bovi informing me about a guy in Darby who offers a place to stay for trail travelers. She gave me his number a while back so I texted him. They guys name is “Curtis”, but he goes by “Gravity”. He gave me his address, so after my resupply I walked over. Gravity is a bike packer, and he offers a place to stay for bikers and hikers for those who know about him. His information is only spread via word of mouth, and because of this I am only his ninth hiker to stay with him this year.”

+

Also Darby: “We were able to accomplish so much in town so quickly because the RV park, where we took showers and did laundry, was just across the street from the cafe, and the Family Dollar and grocery store were a block away. It also helped that the single meal at the cafe left us bloated until late in the afternoon.”

Mile 2,455. Montana

“Hike the Butte Route. The trail there is in great shape with good views. The tread is in better shape than much of the rest of the CDT. Few hike it opting instead to do the long busy road walk to Anaconda.” 

Mile ~2,480. (Anaconda cut-off at 2,455 + 24 miles) Anaconda, MT

Anaconda is known to be a very hiker friendly town with lots of accommodations. There is a “Hiker Hut” in town in a city park where I was headed. Forgettable texted me the location of it, and after another 10 minutes of walking I found myself inside. The hut is basically a shed with electrical hookups for a fridge, a fan, heater, and even Wi-Fi. It may not be much, but it’s all that a hiker needs to be satisfied.

+

made a room reservation at the “Pintler’s Portal Hostel” in downtown Anaconda. The hostel in town is extremely nice, and is one of two nicest hostels I have ever stayed at.

+

The goods here in Anaconda are a lot cheaper than the small towns we have been in, so I finally felt like I was getting some good bang for my buck again.

+

I knew goods here in the “Smelter Town” of Anaconda were much cheaper than other places, but I had no clue that the total cost of a burger, chips, and two PBR’s on tap would come out to be $6.75! The burger wasn’t necessarily anything to write home about, but for the price it was spectacular

+

By late morning we left the hostel together. Skunk and Forgettable needed to make a run to the Post Office, so I walked along the highway until I reached “Murdocks”. It is here where I would go in and exchange both of my worn out Darn Tough socks for new ones. 

+

“Pintler’s Portal Hostel, which is more like a fancy hotel with four-person bunk rooms. Our timing was right, because the hostel was holding a hiker cookout tonight in celebration of its one-year anniversary.”

+

“Carmel’s Sports Bar and Grill, where on Wednesdays they have a $14 special on any steak in the house.”

Mile 2,618. Helena, MT

Buffet:

all-you-can-eat sushi place

Mile 2,660. Stemple Pass, MT

“I made it to Stemple Pass and walked off trail a short distance to an outfitter. The name of this place is “High Divide Outfitters”, and Dave (the owner) is a very down to earth guy. This is a funny spot for an outfitter, but he seems to get a lot of business from all sorts of backcountry crowds.”

Mile 2,887. Glacier National Park

“In order to travel through Glacier National Park, backcountry permits need to be reserved just like in Yellowstone.”

+

“I would only be hiking to “Two Medicine” (a tourist camping area). Since I need to make backcountry permit reservations for Glacier NP, I had to go to the Ranger Station. I arrived at 2:00, but it wouldn’t open until 2:50 since the Ranger was on lunch break. I used the building as wind block to hide behind until the Ranger was back. After looking at the map, I made a reservation for me, Skunk, and Forgettable at the “Red Eagle Lake Campground”. I will have to make another reservation once I get to the Ranger Station at “Many Glacier” in a few days, but that can wait for now. I hate hiking in National Parks, permit systems are the worst.“

Mile 2,941. Many Glacier, MT

“The Ranger Station here at Many Glacier would open at 7:30, so I did my morning chores while keeping an eye on the time. At 7:15, I walked to the Ranger Station to make sure I would be the first in line; we would need as much light as possible for one more big day. I secured a backcountry permit for me, Skunk, and Forgettable for the “Goat Haunt” shelter/campground by Waterton Lake.”

Mile 2,971. Goat Haunt, MT

“The Goat Haunt area is something I didn’t expect. Here, there are a couple shelters, a pavilion area called the “Peace Shelter”, bathrooms with running water, and a few boat docks.”

Tags: , , , ,
Comment

In which the author gets agented!

Filed under: writing — Leave a comment
April 11, 2025

I spent a very long time anticipating the day when I’d be able to use this header. And, of course, then I wrote it three days too late. But hey, time is a flat circle, right? (In my defense, I’ve been doing a lot of celebrating, and even more editing and rewriting.)

My awesome new agent is Brandy Vallance of Barbara Bova Literary Agency. (The same agency that brought us “Ender’s Game” – wooo!) Brandy is an author-turned-agent, an expert in the craft of writing, and the best advocate and supporter an author could ever ask for. Together, we shall find the perfect home for “The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes.” (And then, afterwards, for “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide” – and many more to come!)

Brandy was one of the very first agents I queried when I started agent-hunting over a year ago. The query odyssey was long and convoluted, and this post is not about that. Some other day, perhaps. Suffice to say, I’m not merely happy that I’ve leveled up as a writer – I’m ecstatic that I won’t have to deal with query trenches ever again!

Being agented is… wild. It’s a wild feeling, eh. I don’t have the numbers (and I don’t think anyone does), but I guesstimate that only 1% (if not less) of the folks who finish their novel ever end up agented. From what I’ve heard, it’s gotten even more difficult after covid. Some think that’s because millions of people had a chance to finally write their novel during the lockdown. Others blame ChatGPT: when anyone can generate a bunch of slop in a single afternoon, the number of queried novels goes way up, resulting in severe bottlenecks.

Whatever the case, it feels so strange – though in a good way – to be an actual agented writer. That’s not something you can buy, not something that’s awarded based on your looks or height – that’s based on merit. I’d started tinkering with my first novel way back in 2015, and didn’t finalize it till 2024. The novel Brandy and I will focus on had taken me just eight months to brainstorm, write, and edit. (Yes, that timeline is pretty symbolic, I know.) Between 2015 and now, I tried my hand at quite a few short stories, some of which actually got sold. I’ve been writing non-fiction Kindle e-books since 2011, and while they are, well, not fiction, that also gave me a fair bit of practice.

I’ve never taken a writing course, though I do have a growing collection of books on the craft of writing. (My top two recommendations are Chuck Palahniuk’s “Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different” and Damon Knight’s “Creating Short Fiction.”) I don’t know a single person even remotely close to the publishing industry. I’ve never been to writing workshops or retreats, and I can’t even imagine what goes on in MFAs. I’ve never been to a writing conference, and the only real-life pitch I’ve ever done was during a small panel at last year’s New York Comic Con – something I’d found completely by accident. (The feedback I got after my 60-second speech? “…I like the title.” Oof.)

I’ve been a lifelong reader, though, and a careful learner, with lots of time to think and brainstorm.

My method was simple: I just sat down and forced myself to overcome my hesitation and my self-doubts, and then I started writing. Perhaps not every day (though I tried to), and with a lot of outlines, powered by stubbornness and perseverance – because waiting for a muse didn’t prove to be a reliable strategy. And then… I developed a very thick skin: some of the rejections were hurtful; many queries just got ghosted, without even a token reply. I spent a lot of time spent querying, and revising my novels, and keeping the wordcount below 100,000. And I was patient. Very, very patient.

And even then success is never guaranteed. The nudge for my new novel (think “Ender’s Game” x “Chernobyl” x “The Umbrella Academy”) came from the most unexpected and unlikely source, though that’s a whole different story. If not for that, “The Patron Saint of Unforgivable Mistakes” might never have been written.

So if you’re currently in the query trenches, and you’re reading this… I don’t have the secret recipe, or the secret sauce, or a $9.99 book of advice that would boost your chances. You almost certainly already know all the advice I’ve mentioned. There’s nothing I can do to actually help you with your query, but I hope you will find some solace and encouragement in my words. I was just a guy, and then I started writing, and it took me a very long time, but I got signed. I’m not so insensitive as to say, “If I could do it, then anyone can do it” – but I hope my example will give comfort to other outsiders, to other folks who have no credentials beyond their love of fiction and their penchant for writing.

Onward, eh.

Ever onward.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Comment