The moose was loose,
A daring ruse,
A prank that went too far.
“Man up and choose,
Me or the moose!”
She’d shouted from the car.
And look, perhaps it was the booze,
Or the December blues,
But I knew I had naught to lose
By letting the moose loose.
Category: writing
Will you be there for me at the end,
When the shadows devour the sun,
When there’s no one to hold my hand,
When the many become the one?
When old rivalries fade away,
When we move past the hope and grief,
When there’s nothing more left to say,
Will you be there, or will you…
This is just a short note before I completely pass out after such a long and eventful day… My first-ever day at the New York Comic Con (NYCC).
I’m spending this whole week in New York, crashing on a good friend’s couch over in the Jamaica neighbourhood. The occasion is the annual Brooklyn SciFi Film Festival, but I will write more on that in a few days.
Today (Friday) was the only festival day without any live screenings (only a virtual one), so I went to NYCC, having bought the rare Friday pass much earlier in the week. (My overnight bus from Montreal had arrived much earlier than expected, so I spent an hour or so at an all-night diner, buying event tickets and planning my week, eh.)
I have neither the time nor the space to describe my NYCC experience in full detail. Suffice to say, it was quite amazing. There were some logistical issues that were a clear oversight on the organizers’ part, but pobody is nerfect.
My biggest event was the Pitchapalooza: 20 authors get picked to give a 1-minute pitch, followed by gentle critique. At the end, one author gets picked, and wins an introduction to an agent in their genre. I was surprised to see that pavilion was almost empty: in my imagination, hundreds of writers would have lined up for this opportunity – but nope, there were only about 20 of us altogether. Remarkable.
I delivered my best pitch and didn’t win, but I got some great feedback – and learned that I’m capable of delivering rapid-fire pitches in front of VIPs, with a microphone and a small crowd. (There were quite a few observers.) That was good to learn about myself.
Afterwards, much roaming, and admiring people’s beautiful and creative cosplay. As an introvert, I was hesitant about attending the NYCC networking event, but I’m glad I went. I had a chat with someone from a talent agency, and got his card, and will message him soon… He was in the market for voiceover talent (not my forte), but he did say his agency represents authors, too. This should be interesting.
Speaking of voiceovers: Jeff Hays, the most talented voiceover artist in the United States, said he’s okay with doing a small commission for one of my short films! This is so mindblowing that I still can’t quite process it. I need someone to read a short script in the voice of a famous historical figure, and no one alive would do a better job. This will be so, so, soooo much fun…
The “What we do in the shadows” presentation featured two episodes of their upcoming (and final) season, followed by the hilarious Q&A with the writers and most of the cast.
The Tor event afterwards was about the upcoming book releases and not about the publishing business – but hey, they gave out free advance copies of their novels, so that’s a win!
I also whispered a secret password to a certain artist, which resulted in me joining his henchman army – and getting a snazzy T-shirt!
I wasn’t cool enough to learn about special secret after-parties, but I found a tweet about one of them… And that’s how I ended the day by infiltrating thd meet-up of New York’s comic book creators – writers as well as artists. They were in the reserved section of a nearby spors bar: fun crowd. Made some new friends, got some interesting advice, had some beer… And managed not to fall asleep during the long subway ride back to Jamaica, huzzah!
I’m not sure I could’ve accomplished more today: this was about as efficient as a single day can get. I will absolutely make sure to come back again next year, if it falls on the same week as the Brooklyn film festival – but that’s a story for another time, eh.
Good night, y’all.
This is probably the inevitable side effect of having played way too many video games, but I tend to view life in terms of levels, scores, and achievements. Some achievements are quite common: you’ve devoured a dragon fruit, huzzah! But so have billions of other people. Other achievements, however…
This week, I have two rare first-time achievements, and they’re mighty fun.
First, I’ve officially become a published author! Not self-published, mind you: I’ve been selling my e-books on Kindle since 2011 or so. No, something I wrote appeared in an actual book, and I got paid for it, contract and all. This also happens to be my first short story sale! My story, “How to Prepare for Time Travelers in the Workplace,” has been published in a brand new time travel anthology, “Ruth and Ann’s Guide to Time Travel.” (Available wherever you buy your books online.)
This is… Somewhat unreal, eh. I’ve been low-key writing and trying, and finally I got it done. These days, there are more short story writers competing for fewer slots than, say, 70 years ago, during the pulp era. In terms of sheer competitiveness, this is a bit like Olympic gymnastics: if you watch videos of gold medalists from 80 or so years ago, today’s gymnasts (especially Simone Biles!) are basically superheroes compared to them. It’s fun to live in a world that’s advanced so much in just about every competitive field, but that also means we’re playing at a much higher difficulty level than the earlier generations.
In any case, huzzah – and here’s hoping I’ll manage to get more publication credits. Also, that short story takes place in the same universe as my thus-far-unagented sci-fi novel “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide.” With any luck, this will give me that extra bit of visibility that would attract an awesome literary agent. I’m trying multiple things at once, and I’m positive at least one of them will work.
The second fun new achievement is my interview on CBC radio! There’s a weekly meetup group for expats here in Quebec City, and it’s called Bla Bla Language Exchange. Not long ago, we got a visit from a radio journalist who conducted short interviews with some of us. Part of my interview made it into the final broadcast. I’ll never get used to the way my voice sounds on tape, but I suppose that’s a universal human experience, eh? Anyway, head over yonder to listen to the segment (it’s quite fun!) – my part starts at 9:45.
This year doesn’t have a grand hiking adventure (that’ll be in 2025!), but it does have a lot of mini-adventures, each of which is just as fascinating in its own little way. Here is to many, many more.
My big project this year is to try to get my debut sci-fi novel a) sold and b) published – with a bunch of short story submissions as a side dish. It has been interesting…
The thing you usually hear the most is how difficult it is to write a novel in the first place: people try and fail, or they incubate their precious idea their whole life, or they participate in the NaNoWriMo project. The act of having written, of having created, seems to be the ultimate prize. No one tells you about the next stage – finding a good agent by cold-messaging them with a query.
I’ll be honest: I hadn’t given this step much thought. All of my favourite writers (Pratchett, Scalzi, etc) had more or less stumbled on their agents, and I’d assumed I’d figure it out once I got there. (And that was a good tactic at the time: why stress about that before the book is even finished?) Now that I’m here, though… Wow. Wowowow. This is an entire world, an ecosphere of its own, with so many rules and quirks and occasionally contradictory advice.
A query should be short but not too short. Funny but not too funny. It should reference comps (comparable works) directly but without being too arrogant: in the style of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – not similar to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The comps should be relevant but recent, and not too old. I’m going to start a mini-quest to find relatively recent books that combine quirky revisionist history with snarky time travel narratives: in theory, there ought to be at least a couple of them. In reality, I haven’t heard of any. There is, in fact, an actual free service for writers where, if you leave a voicemail describing your book, a team of booksellers will brainstorm to help you find recent comps. We live in such a strange (and occasionally incredibly kind) world…
The more I learn about all the different query styles, and preferences, and conflicting pieces of advice, the more I feel like an uncouth barbarian at an elf castle. So many rules (written and otherwise) so many ways to mess this up, so very much to learn… This truly is fascinating – and a worthwhile challenge at long last.
I have no relatives or buddies in the industry, no rich parents who have a golfing buddy with a publishing house, no giant social media following. In a way, that makes my hunt a lot more difficult. In another way, though, it’s a reassurance about something I always worry about: when I succeed, it’ll be based on merit, and nothing else. The road ahead will be difficult, but I know that someday I will reach my destination, with my yet-to-be-discovered awesome agent, and my as-yet-unknown editor. I do not know what form the end result will take, nor how long this will take me, but I know my novel is the exact sort of thing my 20-year-old self would’ve adored, and I will get it published – someway, somehow, someday.
And now… Off to hunt down the comps of historical and/or time travel novels that occupy my very specific quirky niche. Followed by major revisions of my query letter. Followed by a bit of an email blast, and waiting, and hoping, and dreaming. All shall be well.
EDITED TO ADD, A LITTLE WHILE LATER: Well, it took some googling, but I’ve found a few books that are somewhat-but-not-quite similar to mine. This should work I think: “The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England” by Brandon Sanderson, “The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O.” by Neal Stephenson and Nicole Galland, and the “Time Police” series by Jodi Taylor.
Also, I realize how ridiculously self-assured my post sounds. I promise that I know what Dunning-Kruger means. I am not perfect, but neither am I terrible. What I am is extremely patient, in possession of infinite time, and quite good at handling rejections. Someday, I shall succeed.
EDITED TO ADD, A BIT LATER: Ho hum, apparently the comp titles should be from the last couple of years. (Sorry, Mr. Stephenson.) Behold, the new comps! Jodi Taylor’s “Time Police” series, Bill O’Neill’s “The Big Book of Unexplained Mysteries,” and “The Umbrella Academy.” I really think this is the best trio of recent fictional works to describe my novel. Let’s hope this works, eh?
At last. At long, long last. It is done.
A few nights ago, I made the final edit to my brain-baby, my first-ever novel-length work of fiction (science fiction, to be precise), my “Time Traveler’s Etiquette Guide.” I got the idea for it way back in 2015, if not before, and I started to slowly but surely gather the information on all sorts of myths, fun historical anecdotes, and just about anything else I could blame on a careless time traveler. (There’s quite a lot of that, it turns out.) Then I started scribbling my first draft, and then…
Workaholism. Years and years of it. Zero stars, two thumbs down, would not recommend. You can see it even on the sideline of this blog: there were hardly any entries in 2018, and that was pretty indicative of my slump in creativity and, to be honest, overall higher brain function. (85-hour workweeks will do that to you.)
There was another attempt to resume my novel in 2020, when there wasn’t much else to do. Soon enough, the fear of covid and the pressure of negative news extinguished even that.
Ironically, I should credit my slow-paced year at the nearby community college last year with giving me that final push. By the end of each day, frustrated with the pace of school, I would spend an hour writing my novel and an hour studying genetics (thanks for the free course, MIT!) just to feel I’ve done something – anything – productive at all with my day.
And then an old college friend of mine published his own sci-fi trilogy, and that filled me with all the conviction I needed. Finally, here was a real-life person from my own social circle who managed to get a bona fide book deal! Without him, my own novel might not have happened. Thanks, D-Clark!
And so… It’s done. It feels unbelievably strange to no longer have that pressure on the back of my mind, that guilt of procrastinating when I could be writing and sharing my unusual take on time travel with the world. All in all, this 104,000-word novel took me 9.5 years – almost half of my adult life. How weird is that? The other day, a friend of a friend lost his video game account – some sort of MMORPG where you can grow your own empire and level up from a peasant to an emperor. His account got deleted because he instigated an online fight with another player outside the game. He’d spent 15 years of his life on it – his entire adult life. And now it’s gone, deleted without trace. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like… But it’s also a startling contrast: different people spend their free time doing vastly different things. Some exercise to the point of winning athletic competitions or bodybuilding contests. Some build virtual empires that might get deleted with a single click. Some write huge sci-fi novels. Choose your own adventure, eh?
This feels quite strange. I have nearly infinite free time and a bulletproof self-esteem, so I will keep submitting my novel to literary agents until one of them accepts me as a client (hi, agent-friend! thank you for checking out my blog!!) and then helps me find a publisher. I am convinced that at some point in the future, my book will end up on store shelves. (No more Kindle samizdat, not ever.) By having written my book, by having contacted my first prospective book agent, I’ve set in motion a chain of events that may never be undone. I have no illusions of awards or mass recognition, but I will be a published author as the result of my actions, and there’s no way to scuttle back when that happens. One way or another, a whole new chapter of my life will begin.
This sensation is similar to the time I made a very big (and, ultimately, successful) investing decision in 2020, or left my ridiculously safe (but stressful) Amazon job in 2021, after 11.5 years with the company. It’s partly fear, partly excitement, partly realization that once I take this step, there is no going back. It is a unique, terrifying, exhilarating, intoxicating feeling, and it is absolutely goddamn beautiful.
Here is to the future.
After months of writing, editing, re-writing, and re-editing, my newest brain baby is ready to meet the world. I present to you my Pacific Crest Tutorial: Your Handy PCT Guide! If you’re not in the US, please search for “Pacific Crest Tutorial” on your country’s Amazon site, and you will see it there as well.
As usual, I’m giving it away for free for 3 days. I’m doing the giveaway to help my fellow hikers, both the hopefuls and the returning ones. (And if anybody feels like leaving a nice review on their shiny new book, that’s a bonus!)
It will remain free until 11:59pm Pacific Standard Time on Tuesday, November 7th. Once the giveaway ends, I’ll remove the link from this post, so no one would accidentally pay for it. There are 2 buttons on that link: don’t click the yellow “Read for free” button at the top because that would start a Kindle Unlimited subscription, which would charge you $10 a month (and you wouldn’t even get to keep the e-book if you cancel!). (I mean, unless you already have Kindle Unlimited.) You’ll want to click the second, orange button that says “Buy now with 1-Click” right underneath the $0.00.
You do not need a Kindle to read this e-book: you can either read it using the free Kindle app on your phone, tablet, etc – or on your computer using the Kindle Cloud Reader. Unlike all the other PCT books, which are 100% advice and 0% journal, my e-book combines them both: it’s roughly 75% journal describing local towns, and 25% advice on everything else. The journal part is a travelogue with detailed descriptions of PCT-adjacent towns: the best and worst places to eat, where (and how!) to hitchhike, etc. It also has more subtle stuff, like making sure you don’t zero in Etna on a Sunday (the whole town shuts down!), or visiting Carson, WA, aka the friendliest PCT-adjacent town in Washington, though it doesn’t appear in most guides. And much, much more.
The other 2 sections consist of a loooong list of my PCT advice to aspiring thru-hikers, and a very detailed PCT FAQ. The FAQ has 92 different questions with a variety of answers, both my own and from all over the web. It covers topics from “Is it safe to hike alone?” to “How do I poop with all these mosquitoes?” – and everything in between.
My hope is that the end result is an e-book that would be incredibly useful for PCT hopefuls, or just for those curious about thru-hiking. The town travelogue, based on my 2022 thru-hike, should be useful to all those who hiked the PCT before and want to try it again. (As I myself will someday…)
I hope you enjoy my e-book, and I hope it proves useful on your amazing, mind-blowing, life-changing adventure. Please feel free to share the link with your friends or with PCT facebook groups (I hang out exclusively on Reddit). As always, I look forward to your feedback. 🙂
Happy reading, and happy trails!
My Oxford French mini dictionary has a vagina but no penis. It has sperm but no menstruation. No fucking, only sex, and a pregnancy without a womb.
My Oxford French mini dictionary has honour without traitors, self-sacrifice without self-doubt.
There is a kangaroo but no platypus. There is God but no Bigfoot or Chupacabra.
My Oxford French mini dictionary has heaven and hell without apocalypse, without utopia, without rapture.
In the world of my Oxford French mini dictionary, there are workaholics but no slackers. There is neither heroism nor apathy, only complacency. Obedience without caricatures.
My Oxford French mini dictionary has knives and guns and bullets but no cotton candy, no colouring books, no dollhouses.
My Oxford French mini dictionary has no serendipity or randomness or rumination, only cold consequences. There is neither hedonism nor stoicism. There is only boredom.
There is no unpredictability.
Grigory Lukin.com 