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Book review: “The Dark Side” by Anthony O’Neill

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February 18, 2016

“The Dark Side” by Anthony O’Neill is, at its heart, a typical murder mystery: a disgraced, disfigured, hardboiled detective named Justus (pronounced “Yustus,” not “Justice”) investigates the assassination of a high-ranking scientist, with an amoral billionaire and the billionaire’s promiscuous daughter as his prime suspects.

It’s very typical, except that the action takes place in the future. On the dark side of the moon. In a lovely city of Sin, set in the middle of the region known as Purgatory. Oh, and there’s a malfunctioning, homicidal android on a rampage toward the big city after a bug in his system caused him to take the business philosophy of the aforementioned billionaire quite literally, especially the parts about eliminating one’s competitors with extreme prejudice. (The resulting monstrosity would make even Ayn Rand blush.)

The narrative alternates between the robot and the detective, featuring the less populated parts of the moon as well as the conditions in Sin, the most crime-ridden city in the solar system. The characters – even the minor ones – are beautifully developed. One particularly chapter goes to great lengths to describe the society of high-class thieves. (Think “Ocean’s Eleven” in space.) As the plot progresses, the intrigues abound, the well-researched science continues to amaze, the action scenes excite, and the ending delivers in a beautiful, satisfying way.

I read a lot of science fiction. A lot those books are less than enjoyable, while some are passable but short of excellent. “The Dark Side” comes much, much closer to perfection than most other books in its genre, and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Final score: 5 out of 5 stars

Full disclosure: I’ve received a free ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Pre-order on Amazon (release date: June 28, 2016)

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Messing with Google – the cow madness

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February 17, 2016
“Happy cows” – 370,000 search results on Google
“Aggressive cows” – 5,390 search results
“Sad cows” – 4,680 search results
“Calm cows” – 2,930 search results
“Indifferent cows” – 1,460 search results
“Upset cows” – 1,300 search results
“Ecstatic cows” – 1,150 search results
“Arrogant cows” – 736 search results
“Languid cows” – 730 search results
“Jubilant cows” – 351 search results
“Needy cows” – 345 search results
“Flabbergasted cows” – 327 search results
“Opinionated cows” – 180 search results
“Vigilant cows” – 135 search results
“Malevolent cows” – 112 search results
“Enigmatic cows” – 78 search results
“Grouchy cows” – 69 search results
“Somber cows” – 64 search results
“Conscientious cows” – 54 search results
“Exuberant cows” – 43 search results
“Despondent cows” – 42 search results
“Petulant cows” – 32 search results
“Compulsive cows” – 15 search results
“Queasy cows” – 10 search results
“Tenacious cows” – 9 search results
“Disdainful cows” – 7 search results
“Wistful cows” – 6 search results
“Quixotic cows” – 4 search results
“Rancorous cows” – zero search results
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Book review: “Alternate” by Ernie Luis

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January 27, 2016

Imagine a couple of three-year-olds playing with their action figures: chasing and shooting and yelling at each other. Good. Now imagine them using a time machine in their disjointed, barely coherent, poorly scripted story as they chase one another around the house. If you do that, you’ll have a fairly good idea of what “Alternate” by Ernie Luis is like.

“Alternate” was a serialized Kindle book, written in four installments, presumably without any idea where it was going to end up. (See also: Lost – the TV show that was supposed to last only six episodes but went on for six seasons and ended in a bizarre, mind-twisting example of grown men writing themselves into a corner.) Mind you, sometimes serialized Kindle novels work – Hugh Howey’s Wool is a good example of that.

The concept behind the book (grandly entitled “omnibus”) is pretty interesting: a society of assassins that go back in time to kill their victims, and who someday might be able to go back and rescue the people from their own past. Think of it as a combination of “Looper” and “Wanted.”

Perhaps, in the right hands, with proper editing and proofreading, the book could have been great. Instead, it ended up poorly written and filled with plot holes: a frail sixteen-year-old girl armed with a knife is somehow able to keep hundreds of people (presumably armed with guns) under her control; the book’s villain leaves a whistleblower alone inside his unlocked office, with a loaded gun and an unlocked computer terminal that contains all the dirty secrets, conveniently written down and explained in great detail. Supposedly efficient assassins turns out to be horribly traumatized alcoholics with emotional issues that would put a typical 14-year-old emo to shame. The list goes on and on…

Some self-published Kindle books turn out perfect: look no further than Andy Weir and “The Martian.” “The Alternate,” on the other hand, is a perfect example why sometimes going the traditional route may be a good idea.

I’m giving this book two stars instead of one because the author did a fairly good job describing the emotional pain of the protagonist – a man who lost his 8-year-old daughter and would do anything to get her back. Too bad those raw emotional moments are grossly outnumbered by all the graphic “torture porn” scenes of people mutilating their doomed enemies just for the fun of it, to indulge some basic, id-driven, caveman instinct that, once again, is not unlike what you’d see if you watch three-year-olds play with their toys.

Final score: two out of five stars

Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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Seattle, four months in

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December 15, 2015

So much fresh fish. Such omnipresent hipsters. Fog that hides the world. Oddly shaped towers rise into the sky, illuminating downtown like a film noir as I go home at night. I miss the sun…

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Messing with Google – the “musical hero” edition

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November 8, 2015

“guitar hero” – 21,500,000 search results on Google
“piano hero” – 86,000 search results
“drum hero” – 59,800 search results
“ukulele hero” – 37,700 search results
“keyboard hero” – 36,600 search results
“keytar hero” – 27,000 search results
“theremin hero” – 25,500 search results
“vuvuzela hero” – 15,300 search results
“accordion hero” – 13,900 search results
“bagpipe hero” – 13,200 search results
“sitar hero” – 12,100 search results
“flute hero” – 11,000 search results
“bell hero” – 10,900 search results
“ocarina hero” – 10,200 search results
“banjo hero” – 10,100 search results
“violin hero” – 9,520 search results
“harmonica hero” – 8,220 search results
“saxophone hero” – 5,700 search results
“trumpet hero” – 5,400 search results
“lute hero” – 4,710 search results
“harp hero” – 4,250 search results
“tuba hero” – 3,760 search results
“trombone hero” – 2,900 search results
“cello hero” – 2,780 search results
“fiddle hero” – 2,650 search results
“balalaika hero” – 2,030 search results
“clarinet hero” – 1,570 search results
“xylophone hero” – 1,310 search results
“synthesizer hero” – 1,080 search results
“bugle hero” – 623 search results
“shofar hero” – 585 search results
“didgeridoo hero” – 533 search results
“gong hero” – 526 search results
“oboe hero” – 502 search results
“conch hero” – 74 search results
“cymbal hero” – 50 search results
“autoharp hero” – 21 search results
“mellotron hero” – 14 search results
“clavichord hero” – 12 search results
“omnichord hero” – 5 search results
“steelpan hero” – 2 search results
“pyrophone hero” – zero search results

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Messing with Google – the “walking bored” edition

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October 10, 2015

“walking in circles” – 370,000 search results on Google
“walking in lines” – 47,500 search results
“walking in triangles” – 16 search results
“walking in squares” – 8,760 search results
“walking in pentagons” – 2 search results
“walking in hexagons” – 1 search result
“walking in heptagons” – zero search results

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Book review: “The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss” by Max Wirestone

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September 19, 2015

Some books are impossible to put down. Some books make you call in sick to work because you simply can’t stop reading. Some books change your life forever. Max Wirestone’s “The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss” is not one of those books.

The premise is fairly interesting: a broke, unemployed geeky girl gets hired to investigate the theft of a certain unique item that went missing in an MMORPG (Massively multiplayer online role-playing game). Pretty soon, however, a real-life crime occurs, and our hapless heroine gets to investigate it too.

There’s a wide variety of wacky characters, a strange online game world and, well, not a whole lot else. Our protagonist, Dahlia Moss, is described in the vaguest possible terms: chronically unemployed, still recovering from a bad breakup over a year ago, suffering from body image issues. That doesn’t stop her from body-shaming other female characters, however (“exceedingly flat. Not just her chest – everything”). I found it hard to feel sympathy for the protagonist when she uses such language against other women, goes to job interviews without any idea what she’s interviewing for, criticizes her charitable roommate who lets her live in the apartment for free, etc.

I’ve seen this book compared to “Scott Pilgrim vs the World,” and it looks like Wirestone had deliberately set out to write a gender-reversed homage. The fact that every character addresses the protagonist by her full name (“Dahlia Moss!”) almost every time they meet her is a rather strong giveaway.

The book tries to be funny, but it didn’t get more than a few chuckles out of me. The in-book continuity is odd: the narrative takes place over the course of about a week, with every day described in detail, yet at one point Dahlia mentions all the detective books she’d read since she started the case. A bad cop shows up for one scene, never to return again, while a good (and secretly geeky) cop inexplicably puts his job on the line by providing Dahlia with very thinly veiled clues about the case.

Normally, I’d give a book like this only 2 stars, but some parts of it were well written and rather quotable. (“My refrigerator is best described in terms of stark minimalism.”)

I wish Max Wirestone better luck with his future (and hopefully less ambitious) endeavors.

Score: 3 out of 5 stars

Pre-order on Amazon (release date: October 20, 2015)

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Messing with Google – nomadic professionals

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September 2, 2015

“Have gun, will travel” – 406,000 search results on Google
“Have camera, will travel” – 71,100 search results
“Have laptop, will travel” – 13,700 search results
“Have brush, will travel” – 9,760 search results
“Have hammer, will travel” – 5,890 search results
“Have shovel, will travel” – 2,050 search results
“Have chalk, will travel” – 57 search results
“Have frying pan, will travel” – 16 search results
“Have fire extinguisher, will travel” – 13 search results
“Have AP Stylebook, will travel” – 2 search results
“Have platypus, will travel” – 1 search result
“Have Batman costume, will travel” – zero search results

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Impressions of Florida

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August 6, 2015

Beauty. Ignorance. Seascapes.

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On wanderlust

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August 3, 2015

In five days, I shall embark on a cross-continental journey, driving from Tampa to Seattle, stopping everywhere and nowhere, feeding my wanderlust. Over the past year, I’ve visited Dallas, New York, New Orleans, Omaha, Tampa, Charlotte, Chicago, Baltimore, Washington and Seattle, as well as Mexico and Grand Cayman. In the past four years, I’ve lived in Reno and Vegas and rural Nevadan towns you’d never heard of; in Dallas and Tampa and a few places in between.

The sensation of traveling, of moving and experiencing entirely new parts of the world, is indescribable. It’s confusing and mesmerizing and intoxicating, thought-provoking and inspiring, tinged with the bittersweet taste of nostalgia and vuja de. I have no doubt that within the next decade or so, wanderlust will become listed in the DSM as yet another suspicious condition, another sacrifice on the altar of the Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex.

Throughout history, wanderers and adventures (or misadventurers, as fate would have it) spread ideas and innovations throughout the world, assisting civilization and feeding their own wanderlust. Here and now, in the middle of the second decade of the twenty-first century, traveling is easier and cheaper than ever before. Strange foreign lands can be accessed with a swipe of a credit card and several hours in a flying metal vessel.

The full allure of it is hard to put in words. It’s a desire to explore, to see new places and to try new things, to not grow roots in boring little towns, to find something new. Something better. Something else. After all, even Frodo moved on and left his old digs for the Undying Lands when his grand adventure was over.

I spend my last days in Florida packing and reminiscing and enjoying the most of what this state has to offer. It saddens me to leave it all behind, but the exchange will be more than worth it, for there’s a new journey to be had, new city to explore, new land to wander.

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