Tag Archive: Florida


Beauty. Ignorance. Seascapes.

Florida – pros and cons

Pros:
no snow
hot weather
beaches
bikinis
cruises
nice roads

Cons:
George Zimmerman within 100 miles of my house
alligators
sharks
brain-eating amoeba
humidity
skin cancer risk
blinding rain
storms

The Hero of the Bay of Tampa

I’ve just spent half the day on the most popular beach in Tampa with the most advanced metal detector on the market. I haven’t failed to find anything of value – I have succeeded in confirming that there were no landmines or live artillery rounds buried in the sand!

People of the Bay of Tampa, you may sleep safely. I am not the hero you need, but I am the hero you deserve.

*stares stoically into the distance*

Florida,
The frontier of fun,
Where the fluffiest clouds,
Like fairy tale refugees,
Fill up the sky.