Sunday evening. Things are getting weirder. After sleeping in today, xgf and I got in a rather strange discussion. She talked about her anxiety regarding living alone, and about what she perceives as my lack of affection, and about harming herself. It got to the point where I started brainstorming a scenario for her that would have us hopping from one AirBnB to another for the next 3-12 months, until there was some semblance of vaccine or until she found somebody else to move in with. After I spent over an hour brainstorming all of that, finding a viable solution, and committing to keep her safe, xgf said “you’ll hate what I’m about to tell you next” and said that was just a test to see if she could still rely on me. (And that she does, in fact, plan on living in that empty basement apartment.)

…is there a sophisticated German word for emotional blackmail and manipulation done for the sake of lifting a suicidal person’s spirits? Because I can’t think of any phrase that would adequately convey how very, very wrong that is.

Had some quality alone time since then. One more week.